So you may remember that at one point I was quoted as saying some unkind things about Southeast 82nd. And no, I still won’t call it the other thing. Well there’s another round of 82nd angst going around right now, because of the No-Hooker-Zone and it being allowed to expire and all this nonsense.
Oh you heard me, I said nonsense. Because apparently the REAL issue here is that we don’t yet have a Mayor Potter Style Advisory Committee to make recommendations. OK, we didn’t, until now. I am still confused about the No-Hooker-Zone because I thought Portland, nay, OREGON was a No-Hooker-Zone. If prostitution is illegal then why do we have a special part of town where it’s extra illegal? Like the No-Meth-Zone downtown I don’t get it. What makes this a good thing to spend time and resources and money on?
This isn’t to say I think it’s stupid to reach out to the people involved and try to get them off the street and into a better situation, I can’t imagine anyone “working” 82nd is doing it for fun. It’s a good idea to try harder to address the actual issue, and I’m not against that. It’s more that once again the approach is to sit around and talk about what’s going on and what can happen. But we KNOW what’s going on and we KNOW what is happening. Why isn’t it possible to take a different approach?
Here’s my idea: make 82nd less seedy so it attracts less seedy people. Whether you love it or it makes you itch, the Pearl District is the new fancy part of town. Imagine your “standard issue” streetwalker from 82nd sashaying down NW 11th. Not likely! So if 82nd looked better and had more than just porn and used cars, maybe this “oh no the prostitutes are back and what will we do and how is this possible and oh my STARS my delicate sensibilities” attitude and handwringing and committeeforming can finally stop.
Here’s what I said at the time:
Why not do what you’ve done in other parts of town? Give new businesses tax breaks to move there, make deals on new construction, make it tempting to build a new thing on 82nd. If perceptions are so key, then let people perceive actual redevelopment instead of some signs and some landscaping.
And here’s what I say now:
* Get a deal with Home Depot or Lowe’s or Hertz Heavy Equipment or whoever and give out vouchers for powerwashers. Make deals on paint. Make the barrier of entry to a Clean Shiny Eighty Second so low they are fools to pass it up.
* Make a deal with a big or popular business to MOVE to 82nd or open something new there (besides Wal-Mart). Give tax breaks to everybody who wants to set up shop there. Make new construction easier to start. If I thought it were possible I’d say to make a deal so moving into the former location of a used car lot was EXTRA cheap.
* Increase police. I don’t mean if it happens on 82nd all the cops in town show up, but right now the only time I see police in my neighborhood is when they’re lit up. I don’t see patrols or anything, and that should change.
* Promote good things. Fubonn, Asian Supermall, is a beautiful place and I ADORE it. Make some noise about it! Find a way to make a big deal about Hung Far Low, Slighty Tipsy Portland Institution, moving out to 82nd. Recognize those who ARE making an effort to improve 82nd and the area around it, like the Academy Theater.
* Ask the public! There are a LOT of people who live or work right around 82nd who have a lot of ideas and suggestions. Find out what they are! Crowdsourcing the brainstorm of improvement is a really easy way to get a lot of ideas that could be useful and it makes people in the area feel like they are doing something to improve the situation. Everybody wins!
And you know what? I didn’t even spend a bunch of time thinking of those few ideas. I’m sure if I applied some brainpower I could come up with some really fantastic ones! But the fact remains: There are better things to do about 82nd than forming a committee to talk about what we can do about 82nd. All this time later I think it proves that I was right: Changing the name DIDN’T DO A DAMNED THING. It was a (metaphorical) pig before, and we put (metaphorical) lipstick on it by changing the name, and now years later what do we have? A (metaphorical) pig. That’s right! Why don’t you quote me on THAT, Oregonian?
One Comment
Excellent! I like your suggestions. I lived for a few years just a block down from 82nd and Foster. I know people tried to lively up Foster road too – that stretch from 50th to 82nd. The tax breaks and economic incentives is a great idea for sprucing it up !