Doctor Who Liveblog: S05E12 – The Pandorica Opens, by Steven Moffat

I am liveblogging each episode of Doctor Who as I watch it. This is more or less a raw stream of consciousness list of things I am considering and wondering about as I watch. (Sometimes I add links later for reference, but otherwise it’s all exactly what I typed at the time.) In the interest of not spoiling anything for anyone I am putting all of it behind the jump.

This episode is the twelfth episode of Season Five (or Thirty-One depending who you ask), called The Pandorica Opens. BBC Page

France 1890…
Vincent!
Sunflowers behind him…
What’s wrong Vincent?
What’s that painting? Hmm…
Ooh, Churchill eh?
!!!
THIS is why he called the Doctor, innit?
Stormcage Containment Facility? 5145!?
Dr Song is talking to Winston? My brain hurts.
She got to keep her lipstick?
“Your tricks don’t work in here Dr Song.” Hee!
The Royal Collection?
Not very…well, not very Royal, is it?
Is she walking off with a Van Gogh?
Liz Ten! “And I”m the bloody Queen.” Nice!
Maldovarium!? What in THE hell?
Oh he looks familiar….
A handsome Time Agent? Jack? The Doctor’s hand in a jar?
Microexplosives? What on earth!?
Oh she’s good.
Planet one?
Translate, eh?
Hello Sweetie!? My brain. It hurts.
Hail Caesar? They know what he is?
Oooh! Look at that. Smeary lipstick huh?
“You wouldn’t answer your phone.” Hee!
Oh my. It’s what happens in the crack, innit?
(credits)
Horsies?
Date and map on the door sign? Whoa.
The Pandorica Opens?
A Pandorica is a fairy tale?
Oooh! This could be good.
Now I’m recalling Eddie Izzard’s bit about Stonehenge. Hee!
Um. Wait. Wht?
Oh my.
Underhenge? Underhenge is the name of my Jefferson Starship Cover Band. (;
Oh that’s bad!
And that’s worse.
Mmm, torchy!
Is that the Pandorica or is it inside?
Oh there it is.
How is River dressed for this? She was wearing prison clothes.
He saw an arm. Hrm.
I would think it would be a bad idea for him to touch it.
“Soaked in the blood of a billion beings.” Is this the one from the pit a couple seasons back?
Worse yet…is it the Doctor?
“I hate good wizards in fairy tales, they always turn out to be him.” Hee!
How did this all line up? She has a point. Vincent isn’t to be born for quite awhile.
She’s right, who else is coming? Oh yikes.
Um. Oh no.
We saw Cyberman shrapnel and now Daleks too?
I like when he really gets going.
That’s like. ALL the aliens.
Holy crap.
I don’t think I’d leave the torch.
“Everything that’s ever hated you is coming here tonight.” YIKES!
Whatever is in the Pandorica is what made the crack, right?
A volunteer? What?
“That’s a memory. Friend of mine, someone I lost.”
Does he really think she can bring Rory back if she remembers him?
“Hey look I’m a target!”
She can’t hear it? OH CRAP!
Ahh!
That’s a bit weird even for me. Eeek!
And now she got stuck with a dart? Oh noes.
The rest was intact? Oh noes!
Where is she now!?
Safe for now maybe. What’s in there with her?
Um.
What the WHAT!?
My brain. It hurt before. Now bits are melting.
“She’s fine Doctor, just unconscious!?” So Rory is actually…Rory?
Therrrrre we go. He figured it out finally, eh?
Distracting? You could say that.
Oh no. I think it’s acutally getting out.
What’s in there? Is it the TARDIS?
Is he really going to do this?
He just declared he has nothing to lose?
Are they really going to leave?
They really do clank when he walks, don’t they?
You know what I want from the next episode of Confidential? “River Song’s Hair.” It deserves it’s own episode!
Why doesn’t she remember him? If he still exists…
What exploded? The TARDIS, right?
But how?
“…I’m not sure history can take it.” I hope someday someone says that about me. (:
Silence will fall?
There’s the crack! IN THE TARDIS!
What came to Amy’s house? Is it still the needly toothed thing? Cuz…yikes.
“Why do I let you out?”
Something seriously bad is going down just there, and I don’t know what but I know it’s bad.
She’s crying again without noticing?
It’s the Pandorica that is using her brain isn’t it?
Is this real?
Why does she have to leave?
Silence will fall. WHO IS SAYING THAT!?
So they are all done. What about Rory? Is he fake too?
So whatever is in the Pandorica is controlling them? And Rory is fighting too? Oh good.
They are going after the Doctor?
Rory Williams! She knows him!!
KISS HIM AMY!
Is she gonna have to blow up the TARDIS to get out?
Ohhhhhhhhhh no.
OMG. I was right! It IS the Doctor in the Pandorica!
But…but…humanity!
Saving the universe FROM him?
They are the work of the Doctor?
How are they the work of the TARDIS?
Oh crap.
So it did explode after all.
And Did Amy actually die?
Oh CRAP!

Well that was a fine how do you do. At least I don’t have to wait a week for the next one!