Today, December 16th, is #WearStarWarsShareStarWars Day, because a little girl named Katie was hassled for the clearly unforgivable sin of being a girl who likes Star Wars.

If you and I have ever met, you know I can sympathize.

I was the only girl who played in Little League in my hometown. I was the only girl who took the test to get my “computer license” so I could play with the computers in the library. I was the only girl who…a lot of things. And I lived in a VERY small town, so every single one of those things is amplified because there was no way for me to be written off as “one of the weird kids”. I was THE weird kid. And it sucked. It sucked rocks. It sucked out loud.

Instead of spending all my time feeling sorry for myself, I decided to use it to my advantage. I developed a thicker skin, and I realized there was a whole wide world outside that wide spot in the road, and who cares what these people think of me anyway? I’m not staying here! Did I cry because my feelings were hurt? Oh heavens yes. I was unhappy a lot, I mean, sometimes it would be really nice to just be a normal person and fit in.

It seems like fitting in would just be easier. I’m just not wired that way. So I had to have a sense of humor about it. I have a badge, and if I must wear it, then I choose to wear it proudly: The Exception To The Rule. I’m lefthanded. I’m a girl in tech. I’m much louder than my size would lead you to believe. I’m a reasonably fit American. Pick a rule, I’m violating it in some way. And I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I had shut up and listened to people who said I should go along to get along, just fit in, be like everyone else.

So today I’m wearing my Star Wars shirt, and my R2-D2 wrist cuff, and I’m off to go flaunt my Star Wars Girl-ness in public. Much like Katie, this isn’t exactly a special occasion for me, I’m pretty Star Wars-y most of the time anyway, and have been for virtually my entire life. (A childhood compromise: My mom bought me a 12″ Princess Leia. She thought it was good I was playing with dolls, and I got to play Star Wars. Everybody won.) And if you don’t like it, well, that’s too damned bad. Because if you liked me before, and now you know I like Star Wars and you don’t like me, well, the only thing that changed there was you.

May The Force Be With Katie.

• I was on The Sci-Fi Cast for their fiftieth episode extravaganza! We played “The Geek To Beat”, a Jeopardy-style game. It was AMAZING. We had so much fun. And I blurted out a new nerdy swear, “STACK OF FRACK!”, of which I have grown particularly fond.
• I managed to guest on a lovely podcast, Angry Mac Bastards at the last minute since one of their regulars (and my favorite AMB, but don’t tell anybody) Peter Cohen, was unable to make it. I was nervous to be on the show, but all the feedback I saw was positive. My favorite was “Can Peter be sick again next week?” (: (NOTE: As you may have deduced, the AMB podcast is, to put it mildly, a salty/NSFW/Long Shoreman style show. You have been warned.)
• I also spent some time playing one of my friend Jeff Gamet’s favorite games, which is Keep Stu Off Balance. We were on the International Mac Podcast together, doing what we could to fluster our host, Stu Helm. Stu is a very good sport. (:
• I can also occasionally be found hosting the TUAW Talkcast, which is one of my favorite things to do. If you meet me in person, you’ll be able to tell how much I love it because I get really excited when I talk about it. I love my community there, and it pleases me to bits every single time someone besides me shows up to record. If you haven’t checked it out, I highly recommend it. I’m not biased or anything! In case you need it, here’s a link to everything I do for TUAW.

So there’s some of what I’ve been up to in the meantime.

Short term that means TONS of phone calls, time on the elliptical trainer my mom gave me (THANK YOU!!), and squeezing a rewatch of Torchwood in the margins. Then I’ll start in on Season Six of Dr Who, and in the meantime you can always catch me shooting my mouth off on Twitter if you prefer me in small measured doses.

When I have more to update here, I promise it will happen. (:

A long time ago I took a picture. It was something I thought was cute and fun and super creative. My friend Mike and I were out and about on Photo Safari and we went to Beaverton Mall. They had an empty area (Last time I was there it was Claire’s, for the locals) that was full of Lego creations. It was glorious. There were even local things in there, like KOIN Tower and Oregon Convention Center. Then I took a photo of a Stargate made of Lego, made by the Greater Portland Lego Railroad Association.

You’ll notice I didn’t link to them.

This makes me sad. I want to link back, believe me I do, but I can’t. You can Google them if you really want to track them down. I know I am not the finest example of regularly updating sites, but their site goes directly to a news page last updated in August 2008. I have also tried to email them a few times to let them know about this photo and how well it’s done for them, but I never get a reply. I wish if nothing else they’d get back to me and tell me to take the photo down, or tell me thanks for leaving it up for people to see, or tell me to please quit stalking them, they got my mail and that was plenty, thanks, but I get nothing. I’m disappointed I have no mechanism for sharing this awesome bit of info with them. Maybe someday someone will see this who knows someone over at GPLR and they’ll point it out and someone at GPLR will get back to me. I sure hope so.

In the meantime, I’ll just smile every time I get another email from Flickr.

On a recent morning while carpooling, Madhatter and I were chatting (as we do), and I said “Last night during Lost, I was watching and I blurted out ‘Christ with a Constant!’ and I was pretty proud of that, so I’m sharing it with you.” This led to invocation of the phrase “Jesus H Christ” and curiosity about where the H comes from. After some speculation about it standing for Herbert or Howard, I decided I needed to know and pulled out my phone to check. I said “I’ll just Google it since it isn’t like Wikipedia is going to have a page about Where The H Comes From In Jesus H Christ.” So I googled it. Hit Number One? Wikipedia.. So (after a little giggling) I read the entry to Madhatter. He too gets a little chuckle, and then I saw there was as link to Straight Dope who, it should come as no surprise, answered this question, so I hit that link as well. In that case, the question was “Why H? Why not Jesus Q Christ or Jesus R Christ or something?” So now Jesus Q Christ is making ME giggle, but I read the answer and thought it was interesting, so I have pasted the relevant bits below:

The H stands for Harold, as in, “Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name” (snort).

Actually, I’ve heard numerous explanations for the H over the years. The first is that it stands for “Holy,” as in Jesus Holy Christ, a common enough blasphemy in the South, abridged to H by fast-talking Northerners. Other colorful Southern epithets include Jesus Hebe Christ and Jesus Hebrew Christ, which abbreviate the same way. The drawback of this account is that it is so boring I can barely type it without falling asleep.

Wikipedia says:

…the most widely accepted derivation is from the divine monogram of Christian symbolism. The symbol, derived from the first three letters of the Greek name of Jesus (Ιησούς), is transliterated iota-eta-sigma: IHS, ΙΗϹ (with lunate sigma), JHS or JHC. Since the transliteration IHS gave rise to the backronym Iesus Hominum Salvator (Latin for “Jesus, savior of men”), it is plausible that JHC similarly led to Jesus Harold Christ,[3] Harold coming from the mispronunciation of the word “hallowed” of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name.” The H has also been said to stand for “Holy.”

I already mentioned that I’ve made appearances on two different podcasts lately, and I loved it. This could be a really fun thing for me. I mean, gee, talking to people, who knew I’d like that!? (:

This has been bugging me for awhile, so I gotta get it out of my system: I think the weird thing for me at Macworld was trying to reconcile the voice in my brain (Kelly, you’re a dork on an intergalactic scale) with the voice of the person in front of me giving me a true compliment. When someone looks me in the eye and tells me I’m smart or funny or a great podcast host or whatever it is, that really means something to me, it’s hard to describe because sometimes it’s hard to hear them over the voice in my head reminding me of my intergalactic dorkdom. I am trying to be better about accepting these compliments because all those people were being sincere, it was me being embarrassed that was screwing it up. I hope I wasn’t too weird to people who were going out of their way to be nice to me.

Also, I signed up long ago for this 31 Days To A Better Blog program and I am really gonna try to whip the Bananaverse into shape. I did it for my waist, I can certainly do it for my website. You’ll certainly get updates about that here too.

I’m going to put this up and call it a night. I hope if you are a regular reader (hi both of you!) you aren’t overwhelmed by two posts in two days. Get used to more from here, it’s high time I started taking this seriously. Here goes! (:

Lots of people have the “oh THIS year will be the year I…” resolutions, the one that just keeps coming back over and over. This year I am changing that for myself.

I gave it some thought and for 2011 I’m doing something different. This is The Year I Will Make It Happen!

Here’s an example:

My friend Aaron ¹ has a passion for photography. He also has the opinion that good info should be shared. So he is doing that himself, with a new site for people like me who are all enthusiasm and no skill (yet). It’s pretty awesome, go check it out. No really, I’ll wait.

Oh good, you’re back! See? I told you it was awesome! So here’s the deal: Aaron kicked off this site with a TWELVE HOUR livestream of Aaron talking photography. To someone like me who’s still not quite up on the technical pieces of what makes photography go, it was AWESOME to get to check out. He didn’t just ramble, there was a schedule and stuff. Yeah, go look at that schedule. Aaron had me on as a guest! I said I would help him with his site, so I showed up on his stream and talked about stuff (sometimes while he ate dinner) I actually did know about, and I asked questions to set up some answers I knew people would want from him. Then I went home and signed up for the site. (It’s $3.95 a month.) If my four dollars can help Aaron quit his day job and go be a photographer all the livelong day ², then I am thrilled to pieces to do my part.

This is what I mean, I helped my friend Make It Happen. And if you know someone who needs a good Financial Analyst, a Customer Support/Service Manager, or a Project Manager, I know at least one of each of those people and I want to help hook them up too. I am going to do what I can to Make It Happen for people in my life, whatever It may be.

Yeah, this is something I probably should be doing anyway, and I do make an effort to do what I can when the opportunity presents itself. What’s different here is that I am going to actively seek out these opportunities. It has become apparent to me that anything I can do to increase the amount of helpfulness and general goodwill in the world is pretty sorely needed.

So that’s my resolution for 2011. I pretty much only have one, and that’s it. I kind of hope it becomes contagious.

I had my iPhone plugged in to my stereo (as you do) and I was playing music on shuffle, driving through southeast Portland on a beautiful summer day. Not too hot, nice breeze, exactly the kind of day that reminds me why I like it here. PRECISELY the kind of day I file away for when I hear a weatherman say it’s going to be day thirty two of consecutive rainy days.

So I’m driving down Stark and cross 39th, driving through a nice little neighborhood and as the road starts uphill to go over Tabor, Penny Lane comes on. A nice little description of a nice little place. It totally fit, and it felt like maybe John and Paul had actually been where I was.

I have these moments every so often, where it’s like something goes off in my head and tells me this is a memory happening here and if I know what’s good for me I’ll pay attention. So I drove along Stark, looking at the trees (which still have all their leaves), enjoying the sun, and generally doing what I could to preserve that memory in my mind.

I know every time I hear Penny Lane from now on, it will remind me of southeast Portland on a beautiful summer day.

01. Lean On Me – Al Green – Greatest Gospel Hits (Not available on Amazon, Blip.FM)
02. Into The West – Annie Lennox – The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King (Amazon, Blip.FM)
03. You and Your Folks/23rd Psalm – Blind Boys of Alabama – Higher Ground (Amazon, Blip.FM)
04. Sweet By And By – The Statler Brothers – Good Old Country Gospel (Amazon, Blip.FM)
05. Bridge Over Troubled Water – Johnny Cash – American IV: The Man Comes Around (Amazon, Blip.FM)
06. Kneel At The Cross – Charlie Daniels Band – Amazing Grace: A Country Salute to Gospel (Amazon, Blip.FM)
07. Jesus Is Love – Commodores – Commodores: Gold (Amazon, Blip.FM)
08. Motherless Child – Hootie & The Blowfish – Cracked Rear View (Amazon, Blip.FM)
09. Somewhere Over The Rainbow – Israel Kamamawiwo’ole – Facing Future (Amazon, Blip.FM)
10. Smile – Jermaine Jackson – From Michael Jackson’s Memorial (Not for sale on Amazon, Blip)
11. Danny Boy – Johnny Cash – American IV: The Man Comes Around (Amazon, Blip.FM)
12. Amazing Grace – Al Green – Greatest Gospel Hits (Another not on Amazon, Blip.FM)
13. The Old Rugged Cross – The Statler Brothers – Gospel Favorites (Amazon, Blip.FM)
14. I’ll Fly Away – Kanye West – The College Dropout (Amazon, Blip.FM)
15. Ave Maria – Stevie Wonder – A Motown Christmas (Amazon, Blip.FM)
16. Peace In The Valley (With The Carter Family) – Johnny Cash – Just As I Am (Amazon, Blip.FM)
17. Go Rest High On That Mountain – Vince Gill – When Love Finds You (Amazon, Blip.FM)
18. Jesus Loves Me – Whitney Houston – The Bodyguard (Amazon, Blip.FM)
19. Love Rescue Me – U2 – Rattle And Hum (Amazon, Blip.FM)

My sweetie, The Scoot (as he is generally known on my blog), has a gramma, and she hasn’t been doing well. She was diagnosed with cancer and moved into his mom’s house earlier this year. Of late her condition has been declining, and she was in the hospital for awhile and now is in what the brochure describes as an end-of-life facility in Beaverton. Yesterday afternoon about 2pm I got a call that NOW is not the end, but you can probably see it from here. So I hopped in the car and hauled off to Beaverton. It was looking like I’d need to head back home before anyone else did, so to find out the best time to go, I asked Twitter and was told don’t bother till at least 6:30 or even 7. So I figured I was there for the evening and told Twitter that too. Here’s what happened*:

@kmcdade said “Oh, man. I’m so sorry.”
@ahockley said “I know it’s been hard lately. Sending positive thoughts towards you and your family.”
@drnormal said “Our thoughts are with you. <<hugs>>”
@turoczy said “Hang in there. Thinking of you.
@DeborahBeatty said “my thoughts are with you both.”
@mlpayne said “It is tough to watch a grandparent near the end. Praying for you guys!”
@chavtasticjinx said “*hug* to both of you”
@richburroughs said “:( Sorry Kelly, take care.”
@linuxaid said “hope all goes as well as it can tonight.”
@MeaganKate said “Sending good thoughts!”
@lawduck said “RT @MeaganKate: @verso Sending good thoughts! +1 – Big hugs.”
@chickieleighc said “You guys are in my heart tonight!”
@morganpdx said “<hugs>.  And then again.”
@jimdittmer said “I believe we’re all with you now…”
@kidmanproject said “Oh, Kelly, I’m so sorry to hear that. My best wishes to you all.”
@gwalter said “I’m sorry to hear about @pdxscott’s gramma. They are so precious to us.”
@dougcoleman said “@colemangirl & I send our *big hugs* and *positive vibes* your way.”
@yuetsu said “I’ve been through this with my mom, my dad & close friends. never easy. but good you’re there for her.
@Locket2You said “I’ll be thinking of you and your family tonight….”
@aaronjorbin said “I hope everything works out for the best #fingerscrossedforyou”
@QueenOChaos said “just read through; sorry to see whats happening. will keep you guys in my prayers.”
@KatrinaWheeler said “sorry to hear. Losing grandparents is really hard.”
@kathymcc said “I am so sorry.”
@ama23 said “So sorry to you all Kelly. Thoughts with you.”
@DixwellStillman said “Dixwell Stillman hopes @verso is doing OK. Best wishes to you and @pdxscott.”

These people listed above include: A County Commissioner’s wife, a jewelry designer, a contributor to ReadWriteWeb, former coworkers, friends, and a whole stack of people whom I have never even met. But because I have followed them on Twitter and interacted with them on Twitter, I got messages of support and love. And some of those people are in England, the eastern US, and I even got a hug sent via text from a friend in Sydney Australia, so I got love from all over the world. 140 characters at a time.

I know some people would find this weird, and I know some people already do think it’s odd or crazy or whatever. But last night when I was sitting in a room with a dying woman and a bunch of in-laws and waiting, I reached out to my own community and got back an astonishing amount of love and care. I just read a blog post written by another of my Twitter friends, and to put it in those terms: Last night Twitter was my baking soda. And it didn’t take any of those people very long at all to send me those little notes, but since they were thinking of me for just those couple of minutes, I was very touched. Even recounting it now, I’m going to need you to look over there for a minute. I have something in my eye.

* This is an exercise in concentration on something good that happened in the midst of an awful lot of bad and sad. I am only doing this to help cheer myself up. Thank you for reading all the way to the little tiny text at the end.

Also: If you’re here to validate your own health care reform opinions or you just want to tear me down for mine, I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen.

I do believe the cost of health care is out of control, and whether there’s a public plan or not, regardless of what comes from Congress this is an issue that warrants discussion. I went to see what Webster’s said was the definition of discussion, and they say:

1 : consideration of a question in open and usually informal debate
2 : a formal treatment of a topic in speech or writing

I say that seems about right. However, just to be clear, I looked up the word debate, and that definition was discussion, so I looked up discussion and got:

Discuss implies a sifting of possibilities especially by presenting considerations pro and con (discussed the need for a new highway)

See? Presenting considerations pro and con. Nowhere in any of these definitions did I find the following phrases:
Yell inflammatory comments to bring debate to a halt
Scream your fool head off as soon as someone speaks civilly
Invoke Godwin’s Law for attention only
Contribute nothing but decibels

So if you are against the contents of the bills Congress is considering, that’s fine. I am interested in what it is THOSE BILLS ACTUALLY SAY that you disagree with. If you can’t quote me the bill and can only quote me what you heard on the TV, well, I’m not interested. Same goes for “saw it on Facebook” and “I got an email…” and “JimBob down at the truck stop says..” and any other place you saw/heard/read something and are now all worked up. I’m happy to engage in conversation and debate with anyone (even you!) as long as your stance is thoughtful and based in reality.

At first I was excited about Town Halls and people wanting to go and be involved in the process (you know, “Yes We Can” and all of that). Then I found out there were people going for the sake of halting the process, not for the sake of learning or CIVIL discourse, just going to gum up the works.

If I had my way I would ask one question of the people going to Town Hall meetings and screeching about the end of America, and that question is:

Where were you before?

I want to know why it is terrible NOW that government is addressing an issue that needs to be addressed. Why weren’t you screaming bloody murder over tax cuts that contributed to the economic mess (which caused people to lose jobs and therefore health insurance)? Why wasn’t it so bad that under the previous administration, government spending continually went up disproportionately to the rest of the US economy? Now that we have an administration who is interested in what America has to say you are complaining about the opportunity? Why wasn’t that a tragedy when the last guy ignored every statistic that said “America thinks you’re doing it wrong”?

I admit the answer to my question scares me a little. But I really do want to hear it.

(EDITED TO ADD: My friend PAgent whipped up a comic strip on this very issue. hee hee hee!)

Well both of Pappy’s kids have picked up this habit, one of them being my Aunt Sharon. (For those playing along at home, that makes the other one my dad.) A note about her: Aunt Sharon was awesome. She let me ride her big dogs when I was small, and her horses when I was less small, and she let me eat Pop-Tarts and she got me a Speak N Spell to play with when I was visiting her. Every year for Christmas she got us gifts we got to open early: Christmas ornaments! She had curly hair like me, and a gap between her front teeth like me, and I always thought somehow my parents knew that would happen when they gave me her middle name, so we’d always be (what I like to call) extra-related. Now back to the story.

Aunt Sharon called her husband (whose name is Dean) Ralph, for reasons I never had explained to me. I just went with it. She called almost everyone something. And by “called them something” I really mean addressed cards to you, wrote it on gift tags, all that kind of stuff. It was like you checked your “outside” name at the door and the rest of the time you were the name she had given you.

She called me Sweet Pea. Like the baby in the Popeye cartoons.

“But Kelly”, you say, “what do you mean callED you Sweet Pea?”

She passed away a few years ago. She had cancer she was not able to beat the second time around. She was so full of life when she was alive and driving around in her green Corvette with the yellow pinstripe and the little Minnie Mouse near the back window, it was hard to lose her. And hard to lose my nickname too.

Then a couple of years ago I got to know someone I wrote on a group blog with. She was fun and smart and all around cool.

Once after being at her house I was leaving and she gave me a hug and said “Goodbye, sweet pea. See you later.” It was back! And from a completely other random source who didn’t know this story!

That’s how I knew this was someone I was destined to be friends with.

It’s not like she has officially dubbed me “Sweet Pea”, either. Sometimes it’s “Sweetie”, sometimes it’s just Kelly. But every so often it’s like I get a little happy reminder of someone I love, and I get the same sort of warm fuzzy feeling I get from an unexpected hug or other act of kindness.

She doesn’t know this story. (Well she does now.) And I hope she enjoys hearing the story half as much as I enjoy hearing my “name”.

Dear Mr Ferguson,

Please accept this gift from myself and the people of Ohio. I cannot express how proud I am of you and the many others who chose to be United States citizens. So many Americans, especially in the current state of the world, take being an American for granted. You however, help all of us to remember how great this country is. You are a true patriot.

Best wishes, and thank you, because it IS a great day for America.

JT Aguila

I think this is something to stop and think about. It’s a nice sentiment. I like that it is straightforward but not the zealotry that’s so lately been associated with being patriotic (coughlast8yearscough). A lovely change.

Commissioners:

I am disappointed you did not take the wishes of the residents of 39th Avenue into account when you voted yes. Why not a compromise on a new building someplace? Or the new Interstate Bridge? And on more practical matters, renaming streets isn’t cheap for anyone, so in an environment already not conducive to small businesses you are making it more expensive for those on 39th now that they have change their address or move away, and I’m willing to bet some of those businesses will leave Portland altogether.

I am not opposed to a tribute to Cesar Chavez, I am more than happy for something in tribute to him to exist in Portland. But why not a Farmer’s Market? Or a school? Because the committee who wanted a street said they’d get one by hook or by crook? They put enough money into their campaign to get attention? After enough unsuccessful tries they had finally pestered this into being?

As a child in rural Oregon, I went to Sam Boardman Elementary School. As a result I spent a bit of time each year learning about Sam Boardman. He was the first State Parks Superintendent, and he did a lot to preserve parts of Oregon by turning them into parks. That is more than I was ever taught about Cesar Chavez, and I lived in a part of Oregon where as a white person I was a minority in my high school for about half the school year as a result of the influx of students due to migrant seasonal workers.

I use 39th Avenue. One of the fundamental ways I was able to find my way around Portland when I first moved to Portland (I lived on SE 36th) was to use the existing grid system that included numbered streets such as 39th. That ease of navigation is diminished when that navigation now has to come with an exception. There are a lot of other ways honoring Cesar Chavez could have been handled that would have made a lot more Portlanders happy. I also don’t appreciate that the process to get a street renamed never takes the wishes of that street’s residents into account. I find it shameful that in a representative democracy, those representatives are clearly not voting according to the wishes of those they represent.

And I will be frank here: Right now the Council doesn’t need another black mark. Between the recall in the works for our Mayor, a contentious Major League Soccer bid, and a new baseball stadium, there is a lot of money being spent or being committed to be spent. And yet in my neighborhood entire blocks are nothing but potholes held together with pavement and there wasn’t enough money to keep a police precinct open in southeast Portland.

I know that this is only one person’s opinion and you have made it abundantly clear you are not interested in one opinion let alone the opinions of many many people, but since I already contacted the Council with my stance on this I felt it necessary to follow up and let you know how disappointed I am in this decision. There are better ways to honor Cesar Chavez. I wish the City Council was more concerned about doing what their constituency wants them to and less concerned with what “looks good” for Portland.

Sincerely,
Miss Kelly
Southeast Portland

First and foremost, in my last post it was mentioned that CubeSpace, a Portland hub of community, will be closing at the end of this week. Since they will be no more, we need to do something not to lose them. What is it? I have a few ideas, and I will edit and update this post as needed. Reminder: This is not a place for talking about what could have been done differently or for passing messages on to CubeSpace. We are only looking to move forward and not lose the amazing community that CubeSpace was an integral part of building.

From: CubeSpace
Subject: It’s End of CubeSpace as We Know It….

Friends,

It is with deep sadness that Eva and I announce that CubeSpace will be closing its doors on Friday, June 12, 2009. During the past two weeks of negotiations, we have very much appreciated the support from all of you. Yet when it came down to it, we realized that even though business has been up and the outpouring of support from the community has been so great, we do not have the resources to keep CubeSpace open.

For roughly three years, Eva and I have poured ourselves into CubeSpace. We have poured in all of our financial resources, and have never taken any salary. We have poured the vast majority of our energy into CubeSpace. We have poured most of our attention into CubeSpace. Now, we have no more to put in. We are tired and broke, and it is now time for us to move on.

We do not consider CubeSpace a failure. Rather, we succeeded in fostering a meaningful community that supports each other in hard times and celebrates together in good times. We feel privileged to have been a part of this community, and look forward to participating in other ways in the years to come.

Many of you have asked what you can do to help. Eva and I have been unable to answer, until now. What we need now are jobs. We have mountains of debt, no assets, and are facing the possibility of personal bankruptcy.

Another piece of help is not for us, but for the community. We know that the closing of CubeSpace will have a negative impact on the community. CubeSpace has served as a central meeting place. It has served as a clubhouse. It has been a default place to hold community events. We now need others in the community to step up and offer up meeting places. Eva and I will continue to contribute our time and energy to community events, but we will no longer be able to contribute the space. It may take some creative thinking, but I believe that as a community we will survive and continue to join together at events if other members of the corporate community will step up to offer space to host the many events CubeSpace has been hosting.

Finally, please be aware that Eva and I need your emotional support as we go through this tough period. As I said in the beginning, we are very tired, emotionally drained and sad. Please do not tell us what we might have done better. Trust us, we know far too well all the mistakes we’ve made. Now is not when we want to rehash them. We welcome your support, your friendship and your caring. We would love suggestions for our future. But right now, we aren’t in a good position to be second-guessing past decisions.

Thank you all so much for being a part of our lives these past years,

David and Eva

–
CubeSpace
622 SE Grand Ave.
Portland, OR 97214
info@CubeSpacePDX.com
www.CubeSpacePDX.com
503-206-3500 – voice
503-206-3302 – fax

I was really impressed, actually, and I went on to watch that show as my whole life changed. I got into a not so good relationship, quit college, moved away from virtually everyone I knew, had a baby I gave up for adoption, discovered the Internet, moved again to a place where I knew even less people, met someone, cut my hair short, got married, bought a house, grew my hair out, carved out a life for myself in my new hometown, and so many other things that aren’t on this list. And every Thursday night (give or take) I would watch this doctor show. I watched at home: When I lived with my dad in a double wide, when I lived in Corvallis, when I lived with roommates in Portland, when I lived with my boyfriend, when I lived alone, when I lived with my husband, when we moved into a house. I watched with my aunt and cousin, and with friends, and alone, and call people after and talk to them about what we just watched.

I saw characters I really liked come and go, I watched when they died and cried my eyes out. I watched when new people appeared, and old favorites came back. I saw characters get together and break up. I saw actors I loved go on to be all kinds of things: a geek, a thief, a crime lab tech, a lawyer, a federal agent, even a time traveler with a sonic screwdriver. I even saw one in person.

Tonight as I am typing this I am watching the last episode ever, and as I see old and new characters from all different times in the series I think about where I was and when I was watching them before, and how much of my own time has been marked with this show. I keep thinking of random pieces of my life.

Watching each week with my aunt and cousin, a tiny bit of civility each Thursday where I didn’t have to put up with the drama at home. Sitting in a tiny apartment, 8 months pregnant, crying as I watched babies on tv being born. Moving to Portland where I knew almost no one, had no sense of direction, but I had a familiar Thursday evening. Sitting in my own apartment, living alone for the first time, watching the same program. Sitting in MY living room in MY house each week and checking in with some old friends and some new ones.

I realize it sounds like i am some sort of super mega die hard fan, but that isn’t true. I enjoyed watching ER but I didn’t hang out on message boards or write fanfiction or preach the Gospel Of County General to anyone who’d listen. I just see now as I look back that I have marked SO much time with this show, and how much I’ve done in that amount of time. While it’s sad to see it go, it’s only because it’s a habit that goes way back. I’m going to continue down memory lane for awhile still. If I come up with anything else noteworthy I’ll let you know.

Yeah I’m going back a ways, but I don’t care.

I went to the fourth Ignite Portland event, where I got many hellos and conversations (partly because I’d Tweeted I would be there wearing a TARDIS Key and a Green Lantern Power Ring you know, because what girl leaves the house without either one of those?) and was even told my ring was “just reason number hundred an one why you rock!” And that is always nice to hear.

I went to the last Beer And Blog at the Green Dragon as its own entity (we still go but that was the last before Rogue bought it). I got some well wishes for my birthday and some nice beverages and had a good time talking to people and turning over ideas in my mind as a result of conversations with other people. (Let’s just say I totally understand why @turoczy is the master of #afterhours!) Also, I had someone waylay me on my way out the door who said she loved reading my blog, and that it was full of passion and just plain awesome. That stuck with me the WHOLE way home. (: (: (: (:

Also back there was my birthday. I had a really awesome birthday, with dim sum and James Bond and presents and Teh Scoot and TONS of tweets in my timeline full of good wishes and a general all around good day.

One of the tweets I got included a link from the lovely and talented (no, I’m not bluffing!) Cami Kaos, someone of whom I grow increasingly fonder like, EVERY day. (Make no mistake there’s a Cami Kaos Mash Note post coming in the future.)

And the following Monday I got some more well wishes, and had a lovely lunch with my cousin.

Plus the next day I got to have lunch with more of my family (my mom came down to go to the doctor) and had a great time with them.

I also had lunch with @OregonianSteve who now has a fair amount of free time, and we talked about local media and how it’s all getting very interesting and what The Media is going to do about it.

I went to Vegas for a family Thanksgiving, me and The Scoot met The Ambassador and his wife there, then we got to spend a week at Disneyland and other places, and also got to go to the Disneyland Candlelight Processional and it was amazing and fun. There will be more on this I’m sure, I just wanted to mention my family Thanksgiving.

And just this year I’ve had two very interesting conversations and ideas for a few interesting things. I also got a REALLY awesome direct message on Twitter about my Totally Gay Post from a published author who said if I’m not then I should be, and that was really good to hear too.

Last but by NO means least I have been called “practically my best grownup friend” by a six year old who has a fair number of grownup friends so to rank high on that list is pretty awesome. She thinks I’m great, and I think she’s pretty great too, so I’ve got that going for me which is nice.

Mostly this post is to remind me of all these lovely things when I am feeling really low, but I wanted to share with all of you (who am I kidding? BOTH of you) that there are good things in the world and I know sometimes you really have to look but I promise they are there.

One thing I’ve been considering lately is doing the list of Three Good Things. Just take a moment before bed and think of three positive things from the day’s events. You don’t have to write them down or anything, just come up with three and think of them for a moment. I think it will help so I’m going to start tonight. Will you be joining me? Do you do this already?

So I am a little stir crazy basically being housebound since Saturday evening (that was Freezing Rain time) and today declared on Twitter that I was losing my mind. A neighbor and fellow Tweep was on and getting ready to go out herself. I figured it was time my car had tire chains at least “in case” so I called around and found some just out on (the now infamous) 82nd. So @SharonG came by in her 4Runner and off we went. At least 82nd was pavement so it was ok to get around. We talked about this stretch of 82nd not being bad because there was Pho and having a mutual love of Vietnamese beef noodle soup we pulled in. We had a lovely lunch, and then off to get chains. We lost the place because the address in Google maps didn’t have much to do with where they ACTUALLY were, so as we headed down to 82nd and Holgate she got a text message reading only SOS and called to see what happened. Tire Tragedy at 92nd and Foster! So the second I had my chains we took off and of course got there in the nick of time! We didn’t end up doing anything helpful except lending moral support. Which is sort of disappointing since the universe put us almost exactly in the spot where they had ended up so we could go be helpful. That was basically it, a way around the problem had been sorted out after the call was made, so we ended up heading home. We came up 92nd and there on the right as a shining beacon of goodness was Burgerville. I mentioned they were on Twitter and had said earlier to hitch up the reindeer and head on in. So we were lured by the possibility of Chocolate Hazelnut Milkshakes and pulled in. We got around and the auto drive-through thing offered us that very thing! Again, the universe saying DO EET! So we tried. First there was debate about whether or not there were milkshakes of ANY variety. It was determined there were in fact milkshakes, but there was no hazelnut ‘syrup’ to give it all the actual hazelnutty flavor one (apparently) expects from a milkshake. So we tried, and eventually she sold us two. We got to the window and Sharon said “Do we get a discount for being experimental?” and we did! So that was cool. Then she continued up 92nd and we made it home safely.

After all that adventure, did I take a nap? Heck no! I shoveled a path for Teh Scoot to get from the curb to the garage door. I didn’t mean to, I meant to clear it so he could actually park in the driveway, but it SO didn’t happen after the snow got deeper AND I remembered we have a downhill slant to our driveway so it was even deeper than I originally thought. It was way more work than I was prepared for so I carved a path and called it good.

I measured today – 4″ at the front door (which is dry in all but the most intense of rainstorms, I have a covered porch that eliminates most of that). Just off the step (which was drifted so you couldn’t even see steps) it was EIGHTEEN inches. Out in front of the garage door it was more like two feet. Snow is currently up to the bumper of my car in the street. I’ll have photos up later, right now it’s late and I have to go in to work tomorrow (we were closed Monday and Tuesday) so I have to get some sleep.

Thanks to @SharonG for an awesome afternoon of pho and sliding and splashing around 82nd. Again, the power of Twitter. (:

I leave you with this: If SNOWPOCALYPSE is so unbelievably bad, just wait until THAWNAMI! You heard me.

Oh you heard me, I said nonsense. Because apparently the REAL issue here is that we don’t yet have a Mayor Potter Style Advisory Committee to make recommendations. OK, we didn’t, until now. I am still confused about the No-Hooker-Zone because I thought Portland, nay, OREGON was a No-Hooker-Zone. If prostitution is illegal then why do we have a special part of town where it’s extra illegal? Like the No-Meth-Zone downtown I don’t get it. What makes this a good thing to spend time and resources and money on?

This isn’t to say I think it’s stupid to reach out to the people involved and try to get them off the street and into a better situation, I can’t imagine anyone “working” 82nd is doing it for fun. It’s a good idea to try harder to address the actual issue, and I’m not against that. It’s more that once again the approach is to sit around and talk about what’s going on and what can happen. But we KNOW what’s going on and we KNOW what is happening. Why isn’t it possible to take a different approach?

Here’s my idea: make 82nd less seedy so it attracts less seedy people. Whether you love it or it makes you itch, the Pearl District is the new fancy part of town. Imagine your “standard issue” streetwalker from 82nd sashaying down NW 11th. Not likely! So if 82nd looked better and had more than just porn and used cars, maybe this “oh no the prostitutes are back and what will we do and how is this possible and oh my STARS my delicate sensibilities” attitude and handwringing and committeeforming can finally stop.

Here’s what I said at the time:

Why not do what you’ve done in other parts of town? Give new businesses tax breaks to move there, make deals on new construction, make it tempting to build a new thing on 82nd. If perceptions are so key, then let people perceive actual redevelopment instead of some signs and some landscaping.

And here’s what I say now:
* Get a deal with Home Depot or Lowe’s or Hertz Heavy Equipment or whoever and give out vouchers for powerwashers. Make deals on paint. Make the barrier of entry to a Clean Shiny Eighty Second so low they are fools to pass it up.

* Make a deal with a big or popular business to MOVE to 82nd or open something new there (besides Wal-Mart). Give tax breaks to everybody who wants to set up shop there. Make new construction easier to start. If I thought it were possible I’d say to make a deal so moving into the former location of a used car lot was EXTRA cheap.

* Increase police. I don’t mean if it happens on 82nd all the cops in town show up, but right now the only time I see police in my neighborhood is when they’re lit up. I don’t see patrols or anything, and that should change.

* Promote good things. Fubonn, Asian Supermall, is a beautiful place and I ADORE it. Make some noise about it! Find a way to make a big deal about Hung Far Low, Slighty Tipsy Portland Institution, moving out to 82nd. Recognize those who ARE making an effort to improve 82nd and the area around it, like the Academy Theater.

* Ask the public! There are a LOT of people who live or work right around 82nd who have a lot of ideas and suggestions. Find out what they are! Crowdsourcing the brainstorm of improvement is a really easy way to get a lot of ideas that could be useful and it makes people in the area feel like they are doing something to improve the situation. Everybody wins!

And you know what? I didn’t even spend a bunch of time thinking of those few ideas. I’m sure if I applied some brainpower I could come up with some really fantastic ones! But the fact remains: There are better things to do about 82nd than forming a committee to talk about what we can do about 82nd. All this time later I think it proves that I was right: Changing the name DIDN’T DO A DAMNED THING. It was a (metaphorical) pig before, and we put (metaphorical) lipstick on it by changing the name, and now years later what do we have? A (metaphorical) pig. That’s right! Why don’t you quote me on THAT, Oregonian?