The Bananaverse

…I do not think it means what you think it means.

I’m referring to the word “support” and how the wave of “do as I say not as I do” in the current administration is leading me to believe they either have no idea what the word means or they have such contempt for ‘Mercans they just don’t care if there is any consistency between their words and their actions.

Case in point: Yesterday I was watching Friday’s Countdown (mmm, Keithy!) and he has started this segment called “Bushed!” where he tracks “the administration’s 50 other scandals” and the winner on Friday was “Support The Troops Gate” (they all end in Gate, btw). Here’s a transcript of what exactly he said:

(Shows a photo of a man in a wheelchair)
This is about Private First Class Isaac Stevens, Third Infantry Div, 11 bravo co. Well, that’s where he started. Then he suffered a head injury and spinal damage during training. Last November, PFC Stevens was discharged with his claim for medical benefits not yet processed. (music stops) You heard me, he was removed from the Army. No longer received his Army pay and had not yet been granted any Army benefit money. Did I mention the injury had left him in that wheelchair? That was last November. By February he was broke. By March he was in a homeless shelter. By April, from his wheelchair, he had had to fight off the sexual advances of another man in the homeless shelter. Fortunately for Private Stevens, a social worker at an army base, working in her spare time, got him into an apartment with help from a non-profit non-governmental organization. But nearly twenty thousand disabled soldiers like Isaac Stevens were discharged in the last two years and most of them have had to navigate or fall through cracks between the last day of pay and the first day of benefits, a gap of up to a year.

You let this happen Mr Bush and it’s your CRITICS who are not doing enough to support the troops?

There you have it. What really concerns me is that Keith only reports the ones HE KNOWS ABOUT. It makes me wonder, if he is talking about Isaac Stevens and refers to twenty thousand others, how hard has it been for them?

So again, Mister Bush, please stop using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I’m in Southern California now (”behind the Orange Curtain” as they say) and here’s some bulletpoints about my trip so far:

* Klondike is a very good all-purpose word.
* RONGO BOWL!
* I got to ride the Submarines. This now means the lovely Miss Cami is going to kill me dead upon my return.
* Subs opened a year ago and I still had a 45 minute wait and I got there at rope drop.
* Toy Story Mania Midway Mania is WAY funner than Buzz Lightyear. You can see what your gun is actually shooting so you can tell if you’re low or high or whatever.
* This morning was CRAZY! We were in the line for the Tiki Room 45th Anniversary Merchandise Event. It was fun but it made me wish I had a LOT more to spend on things. mmmm.
* Attraction posters rock my socks.
* You can find some of my updates if you go to Twisney and make sure you are looking at the Disneyland Resort. When I remember to Twitter you can find my updates there.
* Today after the event we completely bailed. Rargirl and I got our nails done did and had a bit of lunch. We slacked around and now we are pondering our next steps.
* If you are trying to DM me or @ me on Twitter I am going to be hard pressed to reply, I am sort of one way at best. My mobile web sucks (no iPhone) and I have limited access the rest of the time.
* It would be awesome to be the 80’s cover band on Tomorrowland terrace.
* Liplash has a very important meeting with a very important vendor at work tomorrow (he works for the resort). Who could it be, who could it be?

Day One:
- Submarines
- Midway Mania
- Lunch Break @ Grand Californian
- Home for naps
- Back to MK
- Honey I Shrunk The Audience
- Space Mountain
- Star Tours (sans Rargirl after the Space Mountain Incident)
- Buzz Lightyear
- Pinocchio
- Bail out to Taco Bell

Day Two:
- Tiki Room Merch Line
- Wait in Tiki Room Line
- Stand in Tiki Room Line
- Bail for mani/pedi
- Eat Hawaiian food lunch
- Nails done
- Back to Chez Rar for regrouping
- I’ll tell you what goes here after it happens. (:

(I started this on Thursday morning. I am finishing it at Portland International Airport on Friday night.)

Yeah, I am feeling a bit Beatle-y today.

Wednesday night at Ignite Portland I saw Liz Kimmerly give a cool talk about getting over yourself. OK it wasn’t really that, it was called “Dare to go where you fear” and all you really need to know is that she hauled off to Afghanistan with a hundred bucks in her pocket and when she landed at the airport there was a plane already on the runway. One that had been SHOT DOWN by Al-Qaeda and they couldn’t afford to move it off the runway. She gave a very cool talk about doing and having faith. It made me realize that with all the drivers cutting me off and general all-around assholery in the world I really should stick to my “glass half full” outlook. I find a lot of times I let that slide in favor of the knee-jerk reaction to flip someone off or immediately believe the worst about them.

So I went and checked out her blog and saw a post about hugs. OK It wasn’t hugs, it was about unconditional love.

It was late Wednesday night as I watched it, still kind of buzzing from the love I’d gotten at Ignite (SO many thank yous and hellos and how can I helps and good jobs I didn’t know what to do with myself!) and I read about hugging and how the touch was what made all the difference in this boy’s life. Suddenly from out of nowhere a memory sprang to the front of my brain. It was 1999 and Mr Fishbones and I were not yet official or planning it but we’d been together about 4 years. His sister had a baby and I went to Seattle (where she had him) to do family type things. His sister already had another daughter who was about 7 or 8 at the time. When I showed up at the hospital and she saw me it was for the first time in quite awhile (they moved to Alaska when she was about 3). She barreled down that long straight hallway and I kneeled down to hug her and when she got there she knocked me completely over and loved every minute of it. It was awesome to have someone be THAT excited to see me. Later that day she said to me “I know you are not Missus Uncle Scott but can I call you Auntie Verso anyway?” And I told her that was just fine. It got me another hug too! I think what really made it stand out for me was the total acceptance. If you know me you know I’m big on “family on your terms” so for her to decide she wanted me to be her family was a VERY good feeling.

It was a really nice memory. I love hanging out with kids and I’m the first one to dig in the dirt or break out the Legos or talk Spongebob so I have had other experiences with younguns, but that one will always be near and dear. She’s older now (gasp! teenager!) and probably would be fatally embarrassed if this story got out, so I have done my best to protect her identity. I’d like to think even if she squirms a little now that someday she will look back on that same day as fondly as I do.

(Yeah that was lame. If the title doesn’t sound familiar, see if this helps.)

Today was Yardwork Sunday at Chez Fishbones. So off we went to toil in the mines-I mean, in the front yard. I did some weeding and The Scoot did a lap with the mower (around the outside edge). He started in with the edger and when I went to pull that mower engine pull it was REALLY hard to pull. I got The Scoot to try and he had the same issue, it was damned near impossible to pull that thing at all, let alone pull it with enough “oomph” to make it turn over. So we tried to figure out what to do about this mower, and I proposed we borrow the mower from Papa The Scoot and Momma The Scoot, since they were in Alaska visiting Sister The Scoot until a couple of hours ago. At least this way we can finish today’s ration of toil, and if ours is straight up busted we can find a new one, and if it’s not we can get it fixed. So we went to their house and got their rarely used mower out of their garage (since we were checking on their house for them while they were gone we had to go over there anyway) and tossed it in Papa The Scoot’s truck and brought it back to use it on our lawn so we could be finished mowing-we had to cut it shorter than normal today for fertilizing and re-seeding and can’t cut it again for like 3 weeks, so even if our mower is well and truly broken we have a little time to get it sorted. When we unloaded the Mower In Law we checked the gas and oil levels, and seeing that all appeared to be well, engine cord was pulled. Mower started forthwith and grass trimming commenced. (And commenced and commenced, I have some crispy red arms as proof.)

So now I come to the really interesting part of the story: Guess which mower is the one that broke down and which one is the one that saved the day?

First a bit of commentary on the photo: On the left we have the EAGER-1, a (presumably) mid-70’s Craftsman mower. Behold the individual height adjustments on each wheel! Behold the years of grungy exhaust! Behold the chipped and rusting body! On the right we have an early 21st century Craftsman mower with no catchy title like the EAGER-1. Behold the candy apple red paint! Behold the giant easy to handle bag for clippings! Behold the self-propeller control with bunny and turtle pictures!

Left mower is around 30 years old. There are a couple of spots near where the grass gets sucked up where it’s rusted entirely through. Part of the bag has come unsewn from the frame. That front left wheel in the photo is a little wobbly.

Right mower was purchased (I think) in 2001 and “driven off the lot”. It is self-propelled so as long as you can manage to hold down that bar and steer the thing, your grass gets cut. Plus, you know, lookit all that red! It has a giant (compared to EAGER-1) bag for clippings and a nicer system for attaching the bag.

Right mower is mine. Left mower is Mower In Law. Old chipped wobbly faded Mower In Law is what saved the day today when my (newer, nicer, bigger, purtyer, more powerful) mower had a fit of I-Don’t-Know-What and refused to mow any more yard.

So when people say “they don’t make em like they used to” they are absolutely right. And what irritates me more is that part of what influenced the Fishbones mower purchase was “my dad’s mower is a Craftsman and it’s lasted forever!”

We had a similarly disappointing experience with our Craftsman pressure washer as well (it went back though, and we got a Karcher which is outstanding). So far all the screwdrivers seem to be doing fine, however…

I wish I understood it. Do I have the one freakish lemon mower? Is it indicative of our disposable society? Is it just that I shoulda bought a Honda one from the beginning? Am I being punished for not getting the completely manual push mower? Is it really just that Craftsman is coasting on this rep for reliability? I want it to be the first one, but I expect it’s probably the last one.

Any other “reputable” brands I should be avoiding? Let me know!