All good things…
I’d like to get a bit cliche here but what I probably mean is All Good Things Eventually Start Really Sucking And You Start To Reminisce.
Oh, the good old days, before there was spam on the internet, when the only way to talk to someone immediately was ‘talk’ in a terminal window or on IRC, when AOL had NO access to the internet just their own weird community stuff and newsgroups were full of news….
I digress.
In November of 2004, I read something Wil Wheaton wrote about something (which escapes me now but it came up either via Slashdot or MeFi) and mentioned Metroblogging. I thought it sounded terribly interesting and when I saw they were considering Portland as a city I applied. I was accepted and my life as a Metblogger began in December 2004.
Three years and change later, with a heavy heart and even now great sadness (even though it was early this morning), I resigned from the Portland Metroblog.
I have pasted the relevant bit of my resignation email below. Links added for clarity.
“I get the feeling that the situation with LA is never going to change. I have held out hope as long as I can and to continue to do so would be foolish. I can not continue to write and earn respect for an organization that is never going to respect me.”
I have felt like maybe I should resign for awhile. I wasn’t really ready to do so until a few things lined up at once:
* I went to Startupalooza and more than one person was very interested in what I was writing and encouraged me to keep doing so ESPECIALLY if it wasn’t for the Metroblogging network (the issue isn’t Portland it’s the network)
* Metroblogging launched a glorious new blog for a made up place which is apparently run by a made up douchebag. I think Borat is funny. I think this guy is a tool.
* I had two different people say to me that I was too good a writer to be giving it away and asked me where I would be writing next.
So now I’m feeling very sad. I was part of something that was really great, I worked VERY hard to make it that way, and I did everything I could to make sure we had a good rep in Portland, and suddenly it really sucked because of decisions made by other people. I’m sad because I wanted to believe things could change and I wanted to believe things would get better. They didn’t. So I feel bad because I don’t want to have to go, but I also feel bad because I truly don’t believe that I can stay. I have fundamental issues with how things are run in the MB “home office” and since this is not a paying gig, I made the choice not to be associated with an organization that is still trying to recover (at least in Portland) from the “upgrade”.
I don’t want to tear down the people in Portland who helped make the Portland Metblog one of the best in the network. This situation is a textbook “it’s not you it’s me” breakup. I feel bad because I held out hope that was apparently held out in vain, and I feel bad I was wrong about a number of things because I really wanted to believe the best about things and I tried so hard and got shot down.
I know that in the long run I am better off, because I don’t have to deal with all that crap anymore. I keep repeating it to myself over and over. But if you think about this like ripping off a bandaid, I did the rip this morning and I’m still in the OMG IT HURTS IT HURTS phase. I’ll be ok, I always am. I’ve gone through way worse stuff than this and come out the other side unscathed. I know it will be fine eventually, but I’m not at “eventually” yet so right now I’m still feeling miserable I had to give up something I loved because of a situation I had no control in.
(I would like to point out that by the time I got this ready to post it was after midnight and the time stamp has nothing to do with this. It is all absolutely 100% true.)