The Bananaverse

awwwwww. Now in a version the whole family can enjoy!

Find-A-Human!

This rules. Check it out!

Seriously.

Best.
Article.
EVER.

hee hee hee! I need the book! This one too.

I’m illin and staying home today.

At first I thought this movie was funny, but then when I watched it again, it kind of made me sad.

See what you think. (:

I have decided I can no longer refer to the unbelivably dumb I speak with each and every day as ‘retarded’ as this does a disservice to the mentally handicapped.

I want a better word. Do you have one?

There are two fluorescent lights going out in the restroom. one at one end of the stalls, the other at the opposite end near the sink.

They are doing that weird random flashy thing.

It feels like I’m peeing for the paparazzi.

Thank you. That is all.

camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera
camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera camera

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(some of you might remember an eerily familar post about TiVo.)

OMG! SD550. I just got something NEW. Not discontinued. Not about to be. Not anything like that. NEW. JUST FOR ME. I couldn’t be happier right now. Except if I was able to just wander around and take pictures I want to take. Yeah, that’d be a little better. (:

Ahoy, matey! It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Go shiver some timbers, and be sure you’re hip to the lingo.

ugh.

So awake. So tired. It’s not fair. I want to go to bed, I feel like I need to, and yet, nothing. I lay there and lay there. ugh.

and my tummy hurts for reasons unbeknownst to me.

Moulin Rouge is on TV. I am continually reminded of the fundamental hawtness of Ewan McGregor. Dear Gord, there’s a man I want to do inappropriate things to. Things that are probably illegal in the Bible Belt. mmmm.

Anyway. I like to think his character in Moulin Rouge eventually picks himself up (with or without someone else’s help, be they male or female or romantically involved) and manages to salvage some small bit of happiness in the rest of his life.

I felt like making sure that was known.

Once again this will attempt to be a week of 10:30 bedtimes. Just to see if it helps. I don’t think it will but I guess we’ll find out.

Well!

Last night we had some fun at Roulette’s party. Well. I had some fun at the party, I went by myself. It was weird to be there alone but I knew loads of people so it was fun. I was going to go do something else or just sit home, but I ended up finding out that most of the folks I like were gonna be there so I changed my mind. I went and it was fun!

First of all, there was the cooler FULL of jungle juice. Made with Mountain Dew instead of Sprite. Yum! Wired and buzzed! Time to turn the bitch loose on a house full of unsuspecting queens. (Be careful, nicknames abound in the rest of the post.) So Hoover Daddy (just Hoover from here on out) and I sat in the corner and giggled at people and provided commentary on the rest of the guests. I also had people continuing to bring me drinks, so I had at least my share of the Jungle Juice. Roulette made a brief appearance, Martha made an even more brief appearance, and then it was back to the serious drinking. And that’s when the party started.

We decided that being the shameless cream whore that he is, Hoover should have some Reddi Whip. So I take it and fill his face full. He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me into him so now I’m covered with whip cream too. Then he licks it off me with some assistance from someone I can’t remember now. Someone put it on my boobs, so Hoover licked that off my shirt too. Then someone else noticed I missed some and licked that off me too. So that’s three tongues in like five minutes. On a girl at a party full of gay boys. Yeah.

So then someone started The Kissing Game, I guess, where someone gets kissed so they go kiss someone and on and on. So I ended up kissed by someone who has nice lips but not much of an idea what to do with them. So I ended up smooching a delectable blonde fellow his has given up on PDX and is headed back to LA like next week. As I’m in mid-smooch, Hoover starts LOUDLY bemoaning the fact that he has yet to play this game. So I have my way with LA Hottie for a moment more and I go to the couch, push Hoover’s head against the back of the couch and give him a serious smooch. He was stunned. He was impressed! So then Hoover starts telling other people kissing me is fantastic and they should try it, so there was much smooching to be had. And My Favorite Gaysian is exceptional at the snog. So yay! Then it seemed as though things were wrapping up and I noticed it was time for me to head home, so I took off after a delightful evening (even before the tongues came out).

Then I come home. And J.Ro is nowhere to be found. I head to the bedroom to get changed for bed and I see Teh Scoot is still awake. So I’m like, ‘hey teh Scoot, I been drinkin Jungle Juice all night’ and wiggled my eyebrows at him in a manner I thought was sexy but probably looked I was having a conniption. Well he was tired. So no hubba hubba from the hubby hubby. So I’m documenting it here for the next time HE goes ‘how YOU doin’ and I go ‘do you know what time it is?’

Anyway. It was fun! I had a good time, even though I was there by myself. (:

It was fab. Then today was coffee (or Church, as it is occasionally called) and that was fun too. I showed up and Hoover (who lives with My Favorite Gaysian) starts hollering that he (MFG) wants another kiss. ha ha.

Then it was off to Rock Bottom for lunch, and that was fun, and then home again. It was nice. I had to do a bunch of crap yesterday so it was nice to get some time to play.

And then last week I also went out to see Oz off on his last night in town, and I was out at least one or two other nights doing a little of this and a little of that. It was fun to be out and about again, I kind of miss it. So now I have to pace myself so I don’t do it all in the next two weeks and stay home for months again.

wtf?

So it’s totally ok for HER to kiss on Jane at Jane’s birthday, but as soon as she wants to kiss on Chris it’s some sort of cardinal fucking sin? oh come ON. Bitch, it is on film, why don’t you look? Retarded.

I don’t understand how they can have anything to do with each other, so I’m guessing she’s astounding in the sack. Jebus.

I know some bitches who KNOW how to party.

Thank you. That is all.

OK, that and jungle juice.

THAT is all.

woo!

night.

We would be fucked.

This is it. My heart is broken.

I’ve seen all the devastation. I have seen the catastrophe that is New Orleans. Aaron Broussard needs your help. You don’t need me to link to the Red Cross or MercyCorps or anyone else. Go now. Give them whatever you have. Please.

I’m so tired I can’t even get upset about this now.

Response time to 9/11 … 3 days.
Response time to Katrina … 4 days.
Response time to Schiavo senate bill … 17 hours.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Maybe someone should have told him that New Orleans was in a permanent vegetative state.

Look Happy, It’s The End Of The World
Matthew Good Band

Where will, where will you be this afternoon
I cut off all my fingers
No fame i spill my guts
And orphaned desert isle
Like orphaned
Big bang
Blink if you can hear me
Box my ears
Daddy box my ears
Box my ears

Hoping
Is out of style
So look happy
It’s the end of the world

I’ve got a big machine
It’s blank and blue
Where will you be this afternoon
Meet me and I’ll spill my guts
Cause I’m open to anything
I’m open for this time and you can count the years
Count the years
Count the years

Hoping
Is out of style
So look happy
It’s the end of the world

…about this post.

It doesn’t seem like Goddamn even comes close.