The Bananaverse

* Paloma needs to stfu and quit being such a one-note character. Make her interesting, writers, come ON! Teenage girls DO say more than “leave me alone” and “when mama sent me away”.

* Can Gwen utter a single fucking sentence that doesn’t include Teresa’s name?

* Why is it that “all that plastic surgery” only got Katherine a cut and color? Martin got-oh, a nose job. That’s right. It’s retarded. How about different actors, maybe?

* Is TC the stupidest fucking man on EARTH? No matter what anyone says, he keeps going “is that true?” No jackass, we made that shit up just to see what you would do.

* Fucking Liz, she needs to be slapped. Repeatedly. Oooh, it’s raining now, is that Eve’s fault too? Those fucking crocodile tears, oh, whatEVER.

* What happened to baby Martin, huh?

* Why does Pilar have ‘a rare blood disorder’? Can’t they just call it something made up and be done with it?

* Whitney you self-righteous dumdum. When oh when will you learn? When?

* Fox, stop chasing Whitney. I know you’re married, but you can hang out at my house with your shirt off anytime. You and Brady from Days. Rowr!

* Can we inflict a little tragedy on someone else for a chance? How many Lopez-Fitzgeralds are going to come out of the woodwork to suffer?

* This bullshit with Eve isn’t interesting at ALL. OTOH, now maybe she’ll end up with Julian. That would be wonderful, IMO. I like the new Julian, and I like that it was gradual and he didn’t just wake up one day all different. It was nice. He’s one of the few people on this show that is actually interesting and has some depth.

* Aunt Irma was fantastic when Simone asked who she was and said “I’m Beyonce, I just got no makeup on. Who do you think I am?” She’s fun in small doses, give her more to say!

That’s all for now, but I’m sure I’ll have something to say when I start watching Days. Thank GORD for the 30 second advance button. (:

must…write…something…

I feel really uncreative lately, but I have these flashes of inspiration. I’m glad I have a notebook for those moments. I just wish I could string enough of them together to create something.

Sort of blah lately…just working working working. I got a raise though! So they do like me after all. Yay!

Graham and I need an adventure soon. I’m not sure where or how, but it needs to happen.

It is fantastically awesome to have a 30-second advance button on TiVo. They are STILL speaking. Argh! Zip. still?? Zip.

I need some new tuneage in my life. Suggest something to me!

I have to go to bed now. at least my lj is less desolate now. grrr.

not a lot lately. just hot.

turns out The Office will be moving over a couple of spaces into a spot twice the size we are now. That will be nice. Plus we have an outside window! That shouldn’t be big news but it totally is.

I made a pasta salad with super marinated chicken. It was tasty. I’m glad I made a lot for when it is too hot to eat.

I want to do some POWER drinking in the very near future. (Clings to J.Ro) GIMME A DOLLAR!

I need to take a trip. Perhaps in like two weeks I’ll go see my parents or something.

Today was a hellish day at work today. down a person blows.

I want there to be a C&E show in Portland. Make it so!

Why does nothing I enjoy ever seem to happen how I want?

When will something finally happen for me? Karmically I think I’m owed a little something here and there. Just enough to keep me going.

I’m having a crisis of faith lately. Not that I shouldn’t have any, or that I don’t have any, just this terrible feeling that I put my bets on all the wrong horses and now it’s becoming painfully clear I have lost all those bets. I’m not sure what to do in this case.

This bitch needs a haircut.

This bitch needs a makeover! I have a fear that someday my doorbell will ring and it will be some makeover show.

Lunch tomorrow: ULTIMATE MEATBALL!

J.Ro: One of those weirdy sentences: “If you combed out, you’d be the fifth dimension of lusty fuck.” Another: I’m half tempted to run out on Interstate and huck my tits at cars.

Graham is starting to look more like he belongs to someone. I’m an HRC vinyl cling away from near perfection. Well, and a spongebob sticker.

I need to do more out of the house things.

I need to write something useful in the next week.

The Dumbing Down Of Love is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. That and Caroline by Concrete Blonde. Such pathos!

I’m not sure I mean pathos just there…

It’s late and I’mma try bed again. Tomorrow should be fuuuuuuuun. I can’t remember the last good sleep I had. Maybe tomorrow night.

I’ve been thinking lately about labels.

Who I am as a person is up to me and doesn’t matter to anyone but me-our society is fast becoming insular and everybody sits in judgment of everyone else, so really the only measure I have of this label is me.

Who I am as a girl is also up to me. Thankfully others have come before that make it a LOT easier for me to define this as well. There is a lot of crap that I don’t have to deal with by virtue of being born when I was born.

Who I am as a wife is a bit trickier, because wife is intrinsically related to husband. I think they go together, so you can’t be a good husband if you have a crappy wife, and vice versa. You could both be ok I guess, and get along that way, but I wonder about how much of being a “good” spouse has to do with your contribution and how much
has to do with your spouse’s perception. If you are by some standards a good wife but your husband thinks you’re doing a crap job of it, are you really doing a crap job or is he just deluded?

I have spent so long giving other people’s perceptions the finger that I have a hard time trying to live up to anything.

I’m all thoughtful about this, and I can’t quite figure out why. There are some reasons, but why it comes to me this way I’m not exactly sure.

Verso took an online quiz, e i e i o….

Why not squirt your moist ass on over and diddle you some.

Yeah.

I forgot!

On our trip (The Fourth Of July Expedition) I discovered something momentous indeed.

The!
Triumphant!
Return!
Of!
The!
Pudding!
Pop!

EEEEEEEE!

I can’t tell you how excited I am. This is easily the coolest thing to happen in I dunno how long. I even called them to get them to bring them back. And they are back! Yay!

Now if only I could engineer some other comebacks. I’ll think on this. I may need your help.

too hot. not fair.

I r needs @ teh Aqua Teens!

Drop me a line, Scooby. I miss you!

Too random. I need out of my own head.

WTF did I do with the Sominex? Put them Someplace So I Wouldn’t Lose Them, no doubt. Which means they are irrevocably lost.

And now the Jeffersons are on. RIP, Miz Weezy.

I’m SO glad that level heads won the day. I’m sad one of them wasn’t Senator Gordon Smith, but you know, He’ll be hearing from me again on this. We aren’t done.

I think I’mma get my mom to get me Roundup tickets. That would be fun!

I needs to call my pa, yo.

I needs to wrangle me a Disney date too. hrm.

Anyway. BED!

In the interest of procrastination, here’s the current incarnation of the Short List*. In no particular order, here goes:

* Hal Sparks
* Jon Stewart
* Brian Transeau
* Wil Wheaton
* Rob (yeah right!!)
* Dominic Monaghan
* Alan Cumming (I know, I know, wrong team. But adorable!)
* Dave Gahan
* Matthew Good

(the Short List is those whom, upon appearing on my doorstep and expressing a desire to run off with me, get a reply from me of “The Scoot who?”)

my dear, this one is for you! It made me laugh. A bit saucy but very funny. Maybe would learn to read with you! (:

There was a point-who am I kidding-I’m still at the point where I would walk into a voting booth and see two levers: “King George” and “NOT King George” and pull the NOT one every time. Hell, I’d vote for “A Monkey Blowing Into A Jug” over the guy that’s there now. It didn’t really occur to me that I might have a good choice instead of just whoever was not He Who Must Not Be Named. (:

I’m starting to reform that opinion. Read the article below-or at least, the top half:

Candidates trade barbs over running mates
By Richard Benedetto, USA TODAY

RALEIGH, N.C. — A day after Sen. John Edwards joined the Democratic presidential ticket, testy exchanges between Republicans and Democrats highlighted the closeness and intensity of the race.

In Edwards’ home state, a reporter told President Bush on Wednesday that the new vice-presidential candidate is described as “charming, engaging, a nimble campaigner, a populist and even sexy.” How does Edwards stack up against Vice President Cheney, the reporter asked.

“Dick Cheney can be president,” Bush said tersely before soliciting another question with an abrupt “Next.”

Tad Devine, a senior adviser to Kerry, quickly charged Bush with “hitting the panic button” and said he was disappointed that Bush “would stoop to this kind of political bickering.”

Later, Sen. John Kerry responded at a rally in Dayton, Ohio. Edwards, Kerry said, “has more experience and better judgment than George Bush when he became president” after six years as Texas governor.

Bush “was right that Dick Cheney was ready to take over on day one, and he did,” Kerry said. “That is what we have got to change.”

When both men were competing for the Democratic nomination, Kerry had questioned Edwards’ lack of experience on national security issues and said, “This is not the time for on-the-job training.”

Bush said he was not worried about losing Southern states as a result of Edwards’ candidacy. “When they go to the polls to vote for president, they’ll understand the senator from Massachusetts doesn’t share their values,” he said. “I’m going to carry the South because the people understand that … we share values.”

On Tuesday, Bush welcomed Edwards to the campaign. “I look forward to a good, spirited contest,” he said. Laura Bush, campaigning in Iowa, declined a reporter’s invitation to comment on Edwards’ selection. “I’m not going to criticize the other ticket,” she said.

At stops here and in Michigan, Bush urged the Senate to confirm his conservative judicial nominees. He also raised $4.85 million for the Republican Party at fundraisers.

He criticized Edwards for blocking Senate hearings on two of three judicial nominees from North Carolina. Two of the three are lower-court judges; Bush said they are well-qualified.

Senators can delay judicial nominees from their states by objecting to hearings before the Judiciary Committee. Edwards is on that committee. The nominees from his state have been awaiting votes for one to three years. Democrats, Bush said, are “playing politics with something as important as the judiciary.”

Republicans control the Senate, 51-49, but Democrats have used procedural rules to block votes on judicial nominees whom they consider too conservative in areas such as abortion and civil rights.

Bush has nominated 225 federal judges since taking office; 198 were confirmed, two withdrew and 25 are pending. Six Michigan nominees are being held up.

in other news, J.Ro and I today finally officially discovered a name for my car.

My 2000 Mazda Protege shall henceforth be known as:

Mister Graham Sakamoto!

He speaks Japanese with a Scottish accent and wears fabulous things that give small children seizures. He shall soon be outfitted with fantastic floormats and perhaps new window shades.

Rowr.

If I could figure out how to make my lj client do things how I want them, his name would be in rainbow colors. It might be later when I have the patience to figure it out. Now it’s time for bed!

yikes.

So I spent the weekend in a motor home with The Scoot and his parents.

We left Friday for parts unknown. We paused in Salem for dinner at Pietro’s which was nice because that’s the only place one can get a crisp thin crust pizza. That was our last glimpse of civilization for awhile. It was my last glimpse of anything, I slept through most of the trip.

We spent Friday night in Greenwater Rest Area. After driving into the turnaround and going back to the entry so we could see what the sign said that was “no” something. Turns out it was “no trucks”, which was no biggie. It was the biggie that we had to turn around IN THE HIGHWAY. That was really fun in a 37 foot vehicle. Let me tell you.

Saturday began with the morning sun shining in upon me through the rv door (which has no curtain) as I slept next to The Scoot on an air mattress on the floor. Then I got up, got dressed, and got right back on the couch and went to sleep. I slept big bunches of Saturday as well. Since I am still fighting off the last bits of that bronchitis and sinus infection from last week, it was nice to get some actual rest.

So Saturday we went to Crater Lake and almost ate lunch, and we parked at the end of this small gravelly area that went from the road down to the river (after a LOT of driving). This too was desperately exciting. More sleepy Verso rar. For dinner The Scoot made awesome kabobs and some steak and these fantastic potatoes. yum yum yum. Then sleep. Then more of god’s flashlight at that unholy hour. This time the air mattress had decided to deflate, and it was hella cold so now I’m full of snot again, dammit.

Sunday we went to Bend and beheld the glory of the Fourth there. No fireworks, we headed off to this godforsaken place called Trout Creek or something. Note: If you own a 14′ motor home, taking it through a 14′ tunnel is not advised. especially with about 10 inches on either side for clearance. Think! Gah. Apparently we were there for the fishing. I’ll be damned if there won’t be fishing! You hauled my ass through the Tunnel of Terror, you WILL fish!!!!!!

So Sunday night, after the tunnel and my migraine, was more bbq-extra marinated chicken legs this time-and then bed. Verso spends most of her time reading and reading more and some time on her computer (viva la laptop!) and loading up her Nomad with appropriate music. The Scoot plays Halo. A LOT.

Monday (after no sun in the window but a seriously deflated mattress) we headed home about lunchtime. Back through the tunnel of Terror. Then to Warm Springs and up to KahNeeTa. Mama The Scoot played a nickel slot and won like 375 bucks so she took us to the buffet. Her treat! I had some pasta salad and some fruit. Then I ate steamer clams. Then more steamer clams. After that? Steamer clams. Then I hit the Asian Grill (which is like Chang’s Mongolian Grill-fix a bowl of stuff and they grill it up for you on a big round grill) for some mushroom noodle broccoli peanut sauce chicken stuff. And of course after that it was back to the clams. Them’s some tasty clams right there. Then dessert. Then we eventually moseyed home after I asked The Scoot if we had any more stops to make…is there a ball of twine or anything between KahNeeTa and PDX? No, but there was some major traffic and an accident or something that backed up most of the western hemisphere, apparently. Once again Mister Westerburg saved me because I kicked back and watched a few Sopranos eps on the way home. Yay! Thanks Jdub! (:

So we pulled out of our camping space at like 12:30 and got to The Scoot’s parents’ hizzle at like 7:30. Then we came home where The Scoot put BOTH sprinklers on so I could barely take a shower and then bed. mmmmm. I asked him not to drive the bed away. That was a concern, apparently.

And that was my weekend. Jealous as hell aren’t you?

Mostly I just didn’t like that there was no plan at all. Apparently The Scoot suggesting some places to go was interpreted as see every one of them. I just didn’t know I’d spend the whole time driving places. At least if I’d had some idea I could have been prepared…I just kept waiting for us to get where we were going and we never really did which frustrated me a lot.

Bed. later!

Have I mentioned lately JUST how much abject worship I have for Graham Norton? I just adore him for two reasons:

1. Mo. This needs no explanation.
2. That accent. I am a sucker for that accent.

He’s hilarious and I love him. He’s not afraid of naughty things and I also think that gets him mad points. I need to send him a slobbering fan letter. Dear Graham Norton, please come fabulize my life. God knows I need it. Help me Obi-Graham Kenobi. You’re my only hope. Fantastic smooches, -Verso.

Think it’ll work? I hope so. That way I could overcome my fear of answering my door to find some makeover program standing on my step going “guuuuuuuurl, every mo in this town called us about you. They all think you’re fantastic but your wardrobe needs some help. Come on!”

Yikes.

illness update:

My snot has changed color from clear to that putrid yellowish color that seems to signify that my body is in fact fighting infection. Good for you, body! Go kick some cootie ass! Yay!

Otherwise I’m continually full of stuff I don’t need. I am some sort of sponge now so I drink water by the 32 oz Nalgene bottle which means I always need a potty break. My nose is full of snot (see above), and there is some sort of acky in my ears that really needs to vacate the premises forthwith.

Other than that I’m doing pretty well. (:

(ooh! my favorite part!)

sorry. I’m off to be a big infected blob of sleep now. zzz….

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
 
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
 
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
 
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
 
A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
 
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
 
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
 
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
 
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
 
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
 
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
 
Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
 
A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense.
 
A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
 
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
 
The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
 
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
 
You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
 
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.

Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.