The Bananaverse

So, the other night I was in the car with J.Ro and we pulled up to a light behind this van for like, restoration services (smoke damage, etc) and it was the “repair” van style, with the two swinging doors on the back. Well one door said ‘water’ below the window, and the other one said ‘fire’ (I’m guessing because that’s the kind of damage they repair).

Well, there we sit, and J.Ro starts going “water. fire. water. fire.” And I can’t for the life of me figure out why, until I get another look at the van in front of us.

This is the part where we venture once again into sitcom territory.

He starts, in his best Beavis, going “WATAH! FIIIYAAHHHH! WAAAAAATAH! FIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAH!” and proceeds to spiral out of control as the light turns green and we continue on our way.

There was a moment where I seriously thought I was never going to breathe again. He just flipped out for no good reason, and finally after he’d stopped he goes “well, I was confused. Is that what they keep behind each door or something?!” So of course I told him that I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t know that chanting as Beavis would get him any closer to the answer, either.

It was hilarious and I had to put it in here before I forgot it.

The Yule bLog is forthcoming, I assure you. (:

If you are trying to order things and you demand that I get it to you by christmas and today is the twenty motherfucking second, perhaps you waited a tad longer than you should have, ok chief?

I have the greatest christmas story to tell and I can’t tell it yet. But when I can, boy, watch out!

Thank you. That is all.

So I realized some things today.

* HOLY CRAP my hair is long. At least in the Verso Universe.
* I do look like I’ve lost some weight. Not the 20.5 lbs the scale tells me I have, but some.
* I passed my ken-all-oh-gee test yesterday so now I can get my permit if I want to, before I get my license. Yay!
* I’m not sure that ROTK kicked my ass the way it should have. Now that I know what to expect I think I’ll like it a lot more next time.
* I really REALLY miss my tinted contacts. Really.
* Making new friends can be nice.
* Some people weren’t meant to run companies.
* Some people weren’t meant to be on the internet.
* Some people were meant to be in Madagascar.
* I can’t remember working anyplace (save one) where I felt like I really mattered and was appreciated.
* I need to spend more time updating here.
* 60 hour weeks suck.
* 66 hour weeks suck even more.
* Next year I’m sending an email to people: Congratulations! You won a space on Verso’s Christmas Shopping List! Please reply with a list of ideas so that you get something from me that you will enjoy.
* It’s hard to get things done with so many other things to do.
* If you aren’t smart enough to fill out a form you shouldn’t be filling them out.
* Lists of things aren’t very interesting but they are easy to write a few words here and there.
* I think I do a really good job of tearing off on a rant sometimes.
* I really REALLY want to be in a band. I don’t think Pee-Wee Herman and Princess Leia (who live atop my desk) are the appreciative audience I deserve.
* I want to have a family Christmas my way: Those whom I define as my family will be invited.
* I want to have an orphan Christmas sometime too.
* I really want to do more entertaining.
* JFC I need a car.

That’s it for now. Back to the mines…

To coin a phrase,

grunyo a go go.

Recent developments lead me to believe that apparently I’m a reincarnation of Attila The Hun, or perhaps Genghis Khan or some other charming person. I feel like some kind of hideous karma is after me with a vengeance and I can’t figure out why. I was not aware that there was some kind of pay in advance with this system.

I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry, throw up, or even care. Maybe J.Ro is on to something with that ‘whatever’ thing he has going. I’ll have to investigate it.

I was just listening to Rolf and John Denver (and various assorted other Muppets) sing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and it made me feel like crying. Rolf is so sincere and it makes me sad that Rolf isn’t really with us anymore, and Mr Rogers, and all these other figures of my childhood. I feel like I need to have a funeral for my childhood or something, and it makes me cry.

I guess this is that whole ‘getting old’ thing I keep hearing about. But I can’t say for sure. Anyway. Enough sniffling, I have email to answer.

All I do is work, lately. I think I’m making up for all that time I missed.

Other than that nothing too terribly interesting.

Jeffro looked at me in the car the other day and went “Step to the beat-ah” in a Beavis voice and I laughed so hard I mighta peed a little.

LipLash just called to tell me about the guy who ripped HIM a new asshole over the fact that he called the dealership to ask for the guy that didn’t call him back. wtf? I want to find this guy and go all courtney love on him. I know how to turn off caller id.

Frog called the other night to ask me if I had just called him to ask him if he had any chicken. It was a really weird conversation.

I just got the special edition of A Christmas Story and I’m pretty excited about it.

oooh! mamacita!

my purse got ripped off by this dude. It sucks. He didn’t get my wallet or my keys but he got my purse and that bites.

I want to have a family christmas where I get to have my family there. not just relatives, people I picked who are my family.

I bought a girly outfit in Woodburn the other day and it was cool.

Thanksgiving with my mom was nice. lotsa food and rest and stuff.

Just random things. Here you go.