The Bananaverse

Once again I am thinking horrible lawn-related thoughts about our neighbor to the west. Is it really possible to salt the earth and then nothing will grow there?

If I listen to one more asshole tell me “those soldiers are over there risking their lives FOR YOU!” I swear to <insert deity here> that I’m going to do something really unfortunate.

They aren’t there for me. They aren’t there defending my freedom, protecting my life, or helping another country who doesn’t have the resources to help themselves <coughKuwaitcough>. They aren’t there FOR ME so if I hear that one more goddamn time I’m going to be forced to do something rash.

And how come when Powell went to the UN he didn’t just say “We know he has this stuff BECAUSE WE SOLD IT TO HIM.” We did. Why don’t they just admit they made a mistake helping him out and move on?

Where’s all these fucking WMDs he has? We have control of huge chunks of Iraq now, why haven’t we have any? Rumsfeld was on tv a few days ago talking about how they were very pleased to have control of portions of Iraq so they could find these mythical WMDs. Then later THAT SAME day King George was on TV and saying that they weren’t interested in looking for that shizzle, they gots a nizzle to cap and they mean to smack him down, yo. (OK, he didn’t say it like that, but he should have. Press conferences would be more interesting and when he stopped making sense people would just think he was hipper than they were.) So make up your minds, bitches! Are you looking or not? Honestly. Are your offices really so far apart that you don’t have the faintest idea what the other rich middle aged white guy is up to? I have a hard time believing you both aren’t in like, the Oval Office doing little happy dances with lots of bourbon or whatever it is Republicans drink and bouncing about like Snoopy every hour on the goddamn hour.

“The Coalition” is three fucking nations: US, UK, AUS. Not even that many Australians from what I understand, but they still hopped on this bandwagon against a lot of public opinion (again, from what I understand). Of course they keep saying coalition like it isn’t just Tony Blair continuing to stroke King George’s massive ego. Or whatever it is he’s stroking. Maybe since he’s King, Tony felt compelled to obey. (: Whatever it is, never forget that “coalition” is politician for “bullshit”. I mean honestly! Do they really think we’ll believe that the rest of the world was so fundamentally opposed before we got there but now that we are actually there, the rest of the world magically changed their minds? Oh, wait…that’s probably what they’re counting on. And it’s probably working. I don’t know if it reflects worse on the government or on the american public.

I think the really sad thing in all of this is that not everyone has learned the art of disagreement. I have an opinion based on certain facts. If you have other facts, explain to me why your opinion differs based on those facts. Perhaps you’ll change my mind. If you are drawing a different conclusion from the same facts, that’s ok too. But now I understand where you’re coming from. I may still disagree, but your position makes sense and you’ve backed it up reasonably. “Rush said so” is not a fact. Neither is “I saw it on CNN”. And mostly people just take some soundbite and decide to base their opinion on that. Virtually nobody is content to just let disagreement exist. Why is that, exactly? What’s so wrong with having my own opinion? You are not me, you have not lived my life or done things I’ve done or experienced things I’ve experienced, why would we have the same opinion if we have not led the same life? Do you honestly think that a smart girl with lots of gay friends and a geeky streak a mile wide is going to march goosestep with middle aged wealthy white guys? (HINT: ‘no’ would be a huge understatement here.) I think the fact that people in America feel compelled to make everyone else agree with them-when this country was founded due to disagreement-is the most tragic example of willful bloodymindedness I’ve ever seen.

It is my right to disagree with you.
It is my right to not think what you think.
It is my right to possess both boobs and an opinion.
It is my right to change the tv channel if I object to what I see.
It is not my right to deem your disagreement invalid simply because it is disagreement.
It is not my right to make you think the same thing I do.
It is not my right to dismiss your opinion because you have boobs or dark skin or any other physical trait which has little to do with your mind.
It is not my right to remove something from tv entirely just because I object to what I see.

I said crankypants=on. it’s not like I didn’t warn you.

I thought I had already posted this weeks signs that the apocalypse was upon us. Here’s one more:

Scooter just passed up naughty time to keep watching a movie.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

…that the apocalypse is upon us…

- The best rapper is a white guy. (Eminem)
- The best golfer is a black guy. (”Tiger” Woods)
- The Swiss hold the Americas Cup.
- France is accusing the US of arrogance.
- Germany does not want to go to war.
- The government of Turkey turns down a bribe.

These came from Niv Scott and they made me laugh. (:

I thought what I really wanted was a new gameboy, but I was tragically mistaken. I just found this which is all I could ever want in a handheld game thingy.

I know, huh?

Read this:

“F___ Saddam. we’re taking him out.” Those were the words of President George W. Bush, who had poked his head into the office of National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice.

It was March 2002, and Rice was meeting with three U.S. Senators, discussing how to deal with Iraq through the United Nations, or perhaps in a coalition with America’s Middle East allies. Bush wasn’t interested. He waved his hand dismissively, recalls a participant, and neatly summed up his Iraq policy in that short phrase.

The Senators laughed uncomfortably; Rice flashed a knowing smile. The President left the room. A year later, Bush’s outburst has been translated into action, as cruise missiles and smart bombs slam into Baghdad.

But the apparent simplicity of his message belies the gravity at hand. Sure, the outcome is certain: America will win the war, and Saddam will be taken out. But what is unfolding in Iraq is far bigger than regime change or even the elimination of dangerous weapons.

—

There’s more to the article. very interesting stuff. But I still wanna know how to pronounce f___. (I know, I know, but it struck me as funny).

Still dirty. Still sluts.

You can read it here for free. God bless Project Gutenberg!

Constitution

Bill O’Rights

Tragic thing is, none of the people who need to be reminded of this are going to be reading my livejournal.

come on! It’s two dollars!!!!!! Three for a brand spanking new one.

(shutting up and going to bed now. mean it!)

THIS IS NOT A WAR! It is a conflict or a skirmish or a CNN stunt for sweeps, but it is NOT war. War must be decreed by congress and then declared by the president. Unless of course King George has decided that Congress has outlived their usefulness as well; even though I don’t know why he’d do that, he’s got more Democrats sucking his dick than Clinton could ever hope for.

(too bitchy? too bad!)

I decided to hit Big Willie’s House Of Fantasy before I went to bed, and I found this which is all of the following:

a) one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen on the web

b) a conversation very similar to those I’ve had lately

c) bang-on

and on that note, this cheese-eating surrender monkey is off to bed.

It’s Hustler. I’m watching. They’re still dirty. If this continues I’m going to write a play about it…

(are you ready for the punchline?)

(well, are you?)

(OK OK, I’ll give you a minute.)

(ready finally? k good.)

I’m going to call it

(you sure you’re ready? ok)

Waiting For Hustler.

It feels really swollen again today, like it’s trying to close off from the rest of my body and revolt. Have I willed myself into some sort of enforced diet?

Denied yet again. dirty dirty sluts. !!!!! SO dirty!

Turns out that today is the 72nd anniversary of the birth of a certain WFS. (certain and WFS are different links, btw)

I have to say, Wil’s tribute is pretty funny. (:

Nice change from all the other news lately.

Don’t mock the source, just read it.

Check this out.

If you aren’t railfan, you might want to peep this anyway. (I’m hip! I’m down!)

Well. Bush is invading Iraq trying to get rid of Saddam Hussein. I’m trying to find a job and failing. I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to wear when I go out this weekend. My hair is refusing to cooperate with me.

It’s like I’ve gone back in time! I guess I’ll break out my Violator CD and bust out those Poppies tapes. Maybe I’ll wear more watches and get my plastic bracelet on. I should see if I still have my jeans that zip at the ankles and maybe those dayglo pants…

Now I just need my mom to come in and tell me that my music is too loud. (:

How come every time they say “Homeland Security” I feel a knee-jerk reaction to stick out my hand and go “Sig HEIL!”? It sounds like it was directly translated from German or something. Additionally, the news just said they are detaining iraqi-born americans to find out about terror attacks!?!?! wtf?!?!?! That’s like asking Margaret Cho wtf is up with Kim Jong Il. It’s not like I got the bitch on speed dial, ok? I DON”T KNOW!!!! bah.

Second LJ entry about this, I don’t know what day I’m up to now.

Still denied.