The Bananaverse

Like the universe, but Banana-y-er.

 

it’s official!


And here’s the bits from the result page:

How others compare: 0% (same as you) 4% (bitchier than you) 96% (less bitchy than you)

Of the 6,442,205 test takers so far:
52% can use a gun 51% cheated in a relationship
50% been in a catfight 50% forget birthdays
45% blamed a friend for farting 29% gnawed during oral sex
27% wear lots of hairspray 23% stomped on someone with high heels

FACT: The bitchiest age group so far is 29 year olds. 29 year olds average 41% bitchy.

FACT: Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends.

FACT: Canadian women are more likely to consider themselves successful.

FACT: Girls with tattoos like authority less.

FACT: Girls who sleep with married men are more likely to forget their friends’ birthdays.

So there you go. I’m pretty impressed, actually. Mostly I just like the picture. Barbie-based violence is so amusing.

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By verso
On December 26, 2001
At 4:24 pm
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testing, testing…

hey steph, another test! (:

50% - 60% (Amateur Psycho)

That’s the spirit!
Although time and / or personal experience have yet to make you exterminate an entire suburb, there’s a good few bodies in *your* back garden.
Keep up the good work!

Take the DeathKiddy Test!

Once I changed a few answers (of course!) I got this instead.

90% - 100% (LEVIATHAN.)

YOU ARE THE NEMESIS, THE DEVOURER OF PLANETS, AND OF CHILDREN.
YOU ARE THE VOICE IN EVERY PSYCHO’S HEAD.
YOU ARE THE DARKNESS AND THE LIGHT, THE ALPHA AND OMEGA.
- AND *DAMN*, YOU LIKE THE VODKA.

Take the DeathKiddy Test!

heh.

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By verso
On
At 4:07 pm
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A Warm And Fuzzy Christmas

Last year my office (keep in mind I use “office” in the loosest possible sense of the term, and if you saw where I work you’d know that) “adopted” a family for Christmas that needed a little help with their holiday. As with everything that we do around my work, we went a bit overboard. We had a social worker come get the stuff so she could deliver it to the family, and when she showed up and saw this stack of presents and treats and stuff, she said “wow! How many families did you guys have?” and we told her she got to take it all. I thought she was going to cry, and so did she, after she realized it was all for this family she went straight for the kleenex. I felt really good about that. We heard back that the family was thrilled with their gifts and stuff (we also did most of a Christmas dinner for them too) and really excited about getting to have a holiday after all the hardships they had encountered.

This year we thought ahead and got two families. We did the same thing. My favorite part of doing this is everyone going by the presents and asking “do we need anything else? was there anything else that I could go and get?” It makes me feel really good to know that I work with people who really care about other people and like, doing their part on a karmic level. (Scooter is in the midst of some office-based angst and it makes me wonder about other offices…are they like mine? are they all like Scooter’s?) So the other thing this year is that we are meeting the families (or part of them). A little while ago the mom of our biggest family came by to get the gifts and she had tears in her eyes as we took this huge box out to her car full of a skateboard and books and ham and dollies and things. She hugged me and the Office Manager (we did the hauling and the wrapping) and said she was so excited that her kids would get a really nice Christmas this year and she kept thanking us and telling us how much the kids were going to be excited about everything. That felt fantastic. As we walked away from her car I heard the office manager sniffle and I said “please tell me you’re all warm and fuzzy now and that’s why you’re sniffly cuz I’m a little sniffly too and I don’t want it to be just me!” and she said yeah, it was why she was too.

I guess it’s just nice to be reassured that people still appreciate things that other people do for them and that there are still those who keep the real spirit of Christmas in mind. After all the effed-upedness of the last three months, it feels good to know that at least here it seems like Christmas has survived.

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By verso
On December 21, 2001
At 1:55 pm
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Dude, play Silent Night, yeahhhh!!!!

Bad Religion does a version of Silent Night. It kicks my whole ass. Repeatedly. I’ll have more to say later, there’s a lot going on that I need to get out of my head, and my lj is as good a Pensieve as I think I’m going to get, so I later there will be more to add to this I hope, if I don’t end up christmas shopping again. blurgh.

To remind myself what the hell is on my mind, here’s a little note to me:

-FOTR
-No Dissasemble!
-Christmas Music
-Christmas Plans
-Christmas Nostalgia
-Uncle Dan

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By verso
On December 20, 2001
At 4:41 pm
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Christmas Music Quest (update)

I’ve been amassing a list of good christmas songs. I have one disc of MP3s ready to go, but here’s why it is journal-worthy:

I had to look up how to spell Billy Squier’s name to be sure I had the tags right, and I just finished listening to “What Do You Get A Wookie For Christmas” which is alarming in ways I can’t even discuss.

BTW Niv, your christmas gift is that I’ll be going back to the goth girl icons that you enjoy so. (:

Thank you. That is all.

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By verso
On December 17, 2001
At 5:08 pm
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Holiday Spirit

I just want to say that for whatever reason it doesn’t feel much like christmas until I get the music going and hear Bob And Doug Mackenzie’s version of the 12 days of christmas? I dunno why, but that and the music from A Charlie Brown Christmas are what make it seasonal and all that crap for me. I have found some really cool versions of older songs which I might post if I get the time. I lurve the p2p revolution. Now I don’t have to listen to Mariah tell me how all she wants for christmas is me. whatever!

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By verso
On December 10, 2001
At 3:29 pm
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happy testing time!

Here’s one now!

If I were a work of art, I would be Pablo Picasso’s Three Musicians.

I am colourful and provoking, always looking to break out of the mould and to pioneer new ways of doing things. I have a jaunty outlook and although I am a bit weird, most people have some idea what I’m about.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

And because no test result likes to be alone, here’s another!

If I were a James Bond villain, I would be Dr Julius No.

I enjoy fine dining, nuclear power, and initiating global war.

I am played by Joseph Wiseman in Dr No.

Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test

And if you want to find out about the rest of these tests, they are here along with some other interesting stuff.

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By verso
On
At 1:38 pm
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rackafrackin frickinfrackin…

OK, so since I’m unsure of the archive status of these things, I’m pasting here:

(www.nypost.com) December 4, 2001 — The American turncoat who fought for the Taliban was being interrogated by U.S. forces in a secret location in northern Afghanistan last night - and two others who claim to be Americans are also being held. John Phillip Walker Lindh, a 20-year-old Californian who assumed the name Abdul Hamid and joined the fight against America, will be held until the military decides whether he should be treated as a prisoner of war. The two other Taliban fighters who claim to be U.S. citizens are under the control of the Northern Alliance, a defense official said, speaking on condition of anonymity. The identities of the men were not known. Walker’s dad, Frank Lindh, appealed to Americans yesterday to “have a little mercy” toward his son - even though he carried a gun against his country and said he supported the Sept. 11 terror attacks. “Our first concern is we want to see John,” Lindh said on CNN’s “Larry King Live.” “We are all very upset about what John went through . . . He’s really not much more than a boy. We’re very troubled and very concerned for his welfare. “We want to give him a big hug. I also want to give him maybe a little kick in the butt for not telling us what he was up to.” Lindh said he and his wife, Marilyn Walker - the couple is in the midst of a divorce - have hired a lawyer to defend their son in case the government decides to level charges against him. But he insisted, “John’s a good boy. I don’t know of any information indicating he’s done anything wrong. “I hope John could be debriefed by the government and come home.” Walker, who was one of only a handful of prisoners to survive a bloody uprising in a fort where 3,000 Taliban fighters were being held, last week told CNN his “heart became attached” to the Taliban cause while he was studying in Pakistan. “I lived in the region, the Northwest Frontier Province [of Pakistan],” he said. “The people in general have a great love for the Taliban, so I started to read some of the literature of the scholars, the history of Kabul . . . my heart attached to that.” Adm. John Stufflebeem, deputy director of operations on the military’s Joint Staff, confirmed Walker was in the custody of U.S. military forces. “It appears that he is injured or has sustained some injuries and is receiving military attention,” he said. After the fierce fort uprising was brought under control, Walker and other wounded Taliban were taken to a hospital in Sheberghan in northern Afghanistan. A Pentagon source said he was being “debriefed” in a secret location in Afghanistan. The source said it was still to be decided whether he would be treated as a prisoner of war or allowed to return home to America without facing trial. The executive order by President Bush, which enables terrorists to be tried in military courts, only applies to noncitizens. Peter Singer, a military-affairs specialist at the Brookings Institute in Washington, said Americans who fought for the Nazis in World War II were tried in military courts. “It may be that that model is followed, but it’s a very tricky issue,” he said. Walker told Newsweek after the fort uprising that he supported the World Trade Center attacks. “That requires a pretty long and complicated explanation,” he said when asked about the attacks. “I haven’t eaten for two or three days, and my mind is not really in shape to give you a coherent answer.” Pressed further, he said, “Yes, I supported it.”

———-

And here’s an op/ed from BostonPhoenix.com on this kid:

TODAY’S JOLT An American Talibans ‘youthful indiscretion’

BY DAN KENNEDY TUESDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2001

Leave it to the hometown newspaper to put the best possible spin on the astounding story of John Phillip Walker Lindh, a/k/a Suleyman Al-Lindh, a/k/a Abdul Hamid.This morning’s San Francisco Chronicle reports that Walker-a rich kid from Marin County who became a Taliban fighter-was just a smart, mature, respectful boy who converted to Islam as part of a precocious search for spiritual meaning. The quote of the day comes from “family friend” Bill Jones, who says of Walker’s transformation from Tamiscal High School student to terrorist: “It was a youthful indiscretion.” Generally speaking, “youthful indiscretion” is the language that politicians reach for when trying to explain away those pesky rumors that they smoked pot when they were in college. (Of course, let’s not forget the case of US Representative Henry Hyde, who memorably described his affair with a married woman when he was in his 40s as a “youthful indiscretion.”)

It’s not immediately apparent how to characterize a 20-year-old American citizen’s decision to join the Taliban and take up arms against the United States, but surely “youthful indiscretion” isn’t it. In its crude, simple-minded way, today’s New York Post comes closer to getting at the truth: “turncoat” and “rat” are the words it uses.Though it’s hard to feel much sympathy for Walker, today’s New York Times paints a picture of him as the product of a family that, in its own quiet, affluent way, was severely dysfunctional. Raised by a Roman Catholic father and a Buddhist mother who had separated, Walker (he used his mother’s last name) converted to Islam at the age of 16 after reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X.

For a white, rich teenager living at home suddenly to grow a beard, adopt Muslim dress, and start quoting from the Koran raises at least the possibility that Walker was crying out for attention as much as he was tending to his spiritual needs. Don’t misunderstand me: there’s not a thing wrong with anyone’s becoming a Muslim. In this particular case, though, it strikes me more as an exotic form of teenage rebellion. Yet his family actually encouraged him, helping him attend religious school in Yemen, before he disappeared earlier this year - only to turn up in the fetid basement of a prison in Mazar-e-Sharif.

Not surprisingly, Walker’s parents are pleading for mercy. They’re going to need it. Walker could be charged as a traitor, which at least theoretically could lead to his being tried by one of George W. Bush’s military tribunals, which in turn could result in his being executed on a six-to-three vote. Newsweek, which broke the story of Walker’s arrest, quotes Walker’s father as saying that his son actually supported the terrorist attack last year on the USS Cole. “It was clear that he had developed a different point of view,” Frank Lindh told Newsweek. “My days of molding him were over.” Actually, it doesn’t seem like he did all that good a job in the first place.

On Larry King Live last night, Lindh said, “Well, I have to say, I’m doing my best to remain composed, but we’re all very, very upset with what John went through in this prison. It really defies description. And to think that our son, he’s really not much more than a boy, that he went through this horrible experience in the prison and who knows what leading up to that, as parents and as family, we’re very troubled and very concerned for his welfare.” He added that “John is a good boy. I don’t know of any information, any suggestion of any information, indicating that he’s done anything wrong.”Lindh was obviously speaking under incredible emotional pressure, and if your heart doesn’t go out to him then you haven’t got one. But consider. John Walker is not a “boy,” he’s a 20-year-old man, older than many of the American troops who are putting their lives at risk in Afghanistan. As far as there being no information that he’s “done anything wrong,” well, certainly, we don’t know the full story yet. What we do know is that he was taken into custody after the Taliban surrendered to the Northern Alliance. He took part, in whatever small way, in a bloody uprising that resulted in the death of CIA agent Johnny ” Mike ” Spann. And, when pressed by a Newsweek reporter as to whether he favored the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Walker replied, “Yes, I supported it.”It doesn’t look good.

———-

And so here goes:

You know what? Good. I’m glad he switched sides or whatever the hell you want to call it. I think that fan-freaking-tastic! Couldn’t be happier. And while I do feel sorry for his family for suddenly becoming the parents of someone who isn’t exactly popular right now (Maybe they could get tips from osama’s mama?) I can’t imagine that this doesn’t change the opinion of everyone in America on tribunals and things. It’s interesting to me how people can reconcile completely opposite views. For example, schools: People are all for testing and tracking and placement and things of that nature, until it means that little Johnny got a C. Now all of a sudden schools are touchy feely places which are starting to feel less like institutions of learning and more like daycare for teenagers. Please. Or those who want more prisons built and be tougher on crime and on and on and on until it is discovered that the prison they voted to build and campaigned so hard into existence is now going into existence up the street and now they are all freaked out. I want to yank these people from their beflagged SUVs and hang up their cell phones and take away their half caf skim Madagascar cinnamon lattes and knock their little soccer momming heads together until they see the fuckin light. URRRRH!!! Someday I’ll record myself saying that and mp3 it so you too can experience the cry of frustration that erupts from me on a daily basis. We’re back to ‘this is why I stopped watching the news’ if you remember that rant.

In other news, heard Uncle Dickie (ie Veep Cheney) on the radio today going on about the video they found in some house in jala lala la la, la lala la laaaaa bad or something. So how did they find this in a house? Are they going through every tape in every house they find? Did it say “WTC 2: Osaminator” on the side in masking tape? How did they just come across it? Anyway. Good to know he’s got something to do wherever it is that he ended up. You never see him anymore which makes me wonder if they’re just putting shrub out there as a decoy and hoping he’ll eat it so that Cheney gets to run things or if he’s just far too busy protecting his oil interests to bother with the standard veepal duties of attending funerals and cutting ribbons.

I’m sure I have much more to say on this, but I’m not going to right now. Just wait.

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By verso
On
At 1:28 pm
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(hurl)bleaaaauuuuuuuuugh(/hurl)

if I made it all htmled and went with < and > it would not show them, so there you go. I’m home sick today, with two days of illness. late late last night I started barfing, which is always pleasant. so there’s been sleeping and a bit more barfing today. ick. yesterday I felt truly crummy and today I just got worse. I have to try to get back to work tomorrow though, I can’t be out all week just for feeling like week old microwaved death. I’m going to go the ramen route (it’s soft so if I have reruns it will not be sharp at least) now, so I guess we’ll just see. (sighs)

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By verso
On December 5, 2001
At 2:55 pm
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